Marriage Conference 2017 - 01 - Husbands, Love Your Wives — Ephesians 5

0:00 Well, it's so good to see so many couples here investing in your marriages. How many couples do we have here that have been married less than five years? Would you stand up, please? Less than five years. Not five years, but less than five years.

0:18 Okay. Who has been married the least? I think this couple of you are eight months. Okay. Anybody in here less than eight months?

0:28 Anybody got married last night and they just showed up? Okay. Now this is a... Stay standing. This is a question for the rest of us that are sitting here.

0:39 We've been married longer than... Less than five years, I assume. Right? In most cases. Now is there...

0:50 The people that are standing... I'm asking the ones that are sitting about the ones who are standing. The one... Is the marriage that... The ones that are standing, is this worth fighting for?

0:59 Yes. Oh, and I know it sound very convincing. Are these marriages worth fighting for? Yes. Yes.

1:07 So let's give them a big hand. Let's celebrate this. Excellent. Okay. Great.

1:15 Thank you. You may be seated. Now do we have anyone here that's been married five through ten years? Five and up to ten, including ten. Okay.

1:29 Is this marriage worth fighting for? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Big hand here.

1:34 Alright. How many years has it been, ma'am? I'm trying to make this safe. Almost six. Okay.

1:42 Well, five. Five and a half. Okay. Yeah. We'll go with months.

1:45 Yep. Thank you. Have a seat. Five and a half. Okay.

1:49 What about eleven years through fifteen years? K. Good. Are these marriages worth fighting for? Yeah.

2:00 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Thank you.

2:08 Now, do we have any marriages here that have survived sixteen through twenty years? K. We got a taker here. We got a couple of takers. Oh, they're coming up.

2:19 They keep coming. Okay. Now are these... I mean, fifteen to twenty years, they've got some years logged in here. Okay?

2:27 Is it still worth fighting for? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Somebody got wings.

2:42 Sorry. Not Christmas. It's Valentine's. It's Valentine's. Focus.

2:49 Okay. What about... Okay. Now we're gonna do a jump here. Okay?

2:53 What about twenty one through thirty years? Big ten year, nine year jump here. Twenty one to thirty. Okay. Look at this.

3:01 Congratulations. Have a seat. Now anyone that's been married thirty or more years? Okay. Yes.

3:25 Now... Oh, don't... No. No. We applauded, but, I mean, thirty plus years.

3:34 How many how many years have you been married? Forty. Forty? Forty now. Four four...

3:40 Okay. Well, when we get into forties, we we don't do... Yeah. Almost forty one. This is this is really important to me.

3:48 Forty one. One. See, now they've got it. Yeah. Sorry.

3:51 No competition here. Oh, Forty two years. Oh, look at that. Forty. Almost forty one.

4:01 Forty one. Forty two. Okay. Ding. Almost fifty seven.

4:24 Is is... I mean, 50... Can you imagine logging fifty seven years of marriage? Yeah. Is this what...

4:31 I mean, is this worth fighting for after that long? Yeah. Yeah? Congratulations to all of you. These are great numbers.

4:38 This is super. Staying with it. It'd be good sometime. We don't have time now to to talk amongst one another here and say, okay. How do you get these...

4:51 This many numbers behind you? What do you do? I mean, obviously, you didn't take the easy way out, so you must have worked through this stuff. So raise your hand. How many are married?

5:11 Okay. Put your hands down. How many of the married are friends? Okay. Put your hands down.

5:19 How many of you raised your hand the first time but didn't raise it the second time? Oh, no. Honesty. Didn't mean to see that. Okay.

5:29 How many of you aren't married? I didn't say wish weren't married. I said aren't married. Okay. So, everybody here is married?

5:37 No singles here? Nobody wants to be married? I mean, well, I'm, yeah, you're married. Yes. Should've thought that one threw a bit more, Paul.

6:07 I like to think my eyes sweat, but they just leak. Gonna take up my forty five minutes trying to get started. This young, lovely lady in the front in the red shirt on the right, that's my young bride. That's my wife. Thirty two years of marriage in a row.

6:37 She's a wonderful lady, and she has a job. You know, I just kinda bum around. And so and but so she couldn't come with me and because we're married, we're one. We've become one. So, you're right.

6:56 I'm not all here. I'm not all here. And we have three adult children. The man, the young man behind my wife on the right in the green shirt with the good looking one there next to me, that's our second born son, Cameron. He and his wife next to him have been married a little over a year.

7:23 Tremendous couple. The young lady in the front on the left side that's all giddy and can't stand still in a still picture, she's she's the one doing this. That's our lovely daughter, 21 years old. She's dancing around and all giddy because two weeks ago, she got engaged to this fine young man to her right. Excited.

7:50 The young man behind her that's smiling with glasses and the lady to his right, our left, that's our oldest, James. He and Lydia are dating. But the exciting part is they are in the stage of dating where they're asking the question, I don't know, I'm just like, let's spend time together, but do we want to spend the rest of our lives together? Then the lady in the front center, that's Judy's mom. She lives with us.

8:24 Her and her husband logged in sixty years of marriage. I don't know where you folks are in your marriage. I don't pretend to think that everybody coming in here is blissful. I don't pretend everybody in here is, like, pulling their hair out and ready to dive off something. But sixty years is doable.

8:52 Fifty seven years is doable. We can do this. I know when you're home and you're alone, stuff happens and the enemy says, give up, take the easy way out. No. Stay with it.

9:09 Hopefully, we can encourage you today. Now we have a large... Are you comfortable sitting where you are? Do you like change? I take that as a no.

9:30 I'm not smiling, and I'm not going to start smiling. But what we have here is a little activity which requires movement and change. Along both walls here, we have five sheets hung on the wall. And at each sheet, there's a window, and at each window, there's a marker. The marker needs to get onto that paper.

9:55 They can't do it on its own. It's going need some help. So, we want all the ladies to divide in groups of seven to eight each come over and get gathered around these sheets and all the guys get gathered in groups of how many? 73? Seven.

10:12 Seven to eight. Seven Seven eight. Yeah. 7.5. You gather along this wall.

10:18 Okay? And when you get there or you can start now. Ladies, I want you to just talk together and shoot out ideas. You got about three minutes. What do wives want in their marriage?

10:30 Just write it out as quick as you can. You got eight people. You don't have much time. Three minutes. Guys, you do the same thing.

10:36 Oh, not the exact same thing. You come over here, and you say, what do husbands want in marriage? And you you write that all out. Okay? You get one writer, and everybody just talk...

10:44 Say things, and they all try to keep up with your writing. Ready, set, go. Ladies. Glad you can make it. They're writing things that wives want to have in marriage.

11:20 So, you can just join a group and say, hey, we want to have and then somebody will write that out. Okay. If I could have your attention, don't move. Just stay where you're at. If I could have your attention for a moment.

11:49 If I could have your attention for a moment, don't sit down, stay in your stations. This is going get really congested but we're all Christians and we love one another and we'll we'll work our way through this but mingle, just read the list on on yours. You stay on this side. You read the list on your side. Look for things that are repeated, that are in common, and give it and put a heart shape by those that are the same, okay?

12:15 Guys, you do the same. Look for things that are repeated and highlight, put a star or an x. Yeah. An x. A heart.

12:22 Oh, you got it? No. No. What? Read these.

12:30 Go up and down through here. Read the list and try to find what is stated here, here, here, and here. See what... What's in... What's common amongst all of them.

13:11 Thanks for coming, brother. Oh, sir. My name is Paul. You? Tim.

13:14 Tim. Tim. Hey, Tim. Glad to have you. I'm a great friend for you.

13:16 Thank you. Thank you very much. Don't stop. I'm serious. Okay.

13:33 Let's let's bring it back together. Find your best friend and join up. Sit together maybe. Bring it on back in now. You're you're you're being all Christian friendly talking communication sort of thing.

13:54 Bring it on back. Okay. So we have over here stability, security. Security, respect, protection, communication, patience, family man who wants children. Oh, cares cares about children.

14:21 Wants to care about children. Wants to. And wants to. Security, support, time. K, guys.

14:32 Are you listening? This is what your wives want. Security. Which word have I repeated here? Security.

14:40 My. My. Listen to, communicate, laugh, fun. Alright, ladies. It's your turn to listen now.

14:50 Let's see. The fellas... Boy, I don't see a whole lot of stars here. I see some repetition, though. There's one word that sticks out.

15:04 Oh, honesty and trust. Compassion. No. That looks more like compromise. Okay.

15:12 That's interesting. A skinny example of... No. No. No.

15:17 No. Shiny. Shiny. I need to learn to read. Shiny example of the glory of god.

15:24 Whoo. Respect. Support. And then there's this word. Can you can you see that word?

15:31 They were bold. Oh, this one was bold too. Oh, look at here. Woah. Yeah.

16:02 I'm not that smart, but I know the word, and the word has answers. And so I just wanna be a guide alongside, and we'll walk through this together. If you have your Bibles or copies or your phones, so they are not off. You might as well turn them on. You can...

16:17 No, I won't say that. That's a temptation. This is from Ephesians five twenty two to 33. There's a lot in this passage, and I started out with everything, then I watched a lecture or talk on teaching, and it says, if you have too much material, cut it in half. So some of it got cut.

16:42 Sorry. But you didn't pay for it anyways. Right? You paid for what you're getting. That's what I'm thinking.

16:54 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body. What this passage does... What this verse here does is it sets up for us the whole context in which we will be talking. It's the big header. We'll be down here in the subpoints of it but it's all based on this foundational truth and it's a comparison between the husband and the wife, and they are...

17:27 The husband is compared to who? And the wife is compare... Yeah. The answer is Christ. And the wife is compared to what?

17:37 The church. Church. Our observation is, as we... Just sitting here reading the the text and we look at it, our we observe that the relationship between the husband and the wife is similar between Christ and the church. That's the foundation.

18:01 There's a comparison here. There's similarities between these. So with that in mind, we can proceed. Verse 25. I'm sure this is new information for you.

18:17 Husband, love your wives. Well, how much? Can you give me an example? Like, what do you mean when you're asking me to love my wife? Well, what's that mean?

18:35 What's an example for that? Well, it's a good question. Let's look for an answer. What's the answer? How much do we love wives and what's the example that's laid out for us?

18:54 It's okay to talk. I mean, you're you're free to get up and get coffee. You're certainly free to speak up. Okay? Look at the text.

19:00 It's like Christ has Christ loved. Yeah. What... What's underlined in red? Just said.

19:06 Just said. Just said. And? Right. Love isn't the answer to this question, but I just wanted to know if you were still awake.

19:16 So husbands, love your wives. How much? What's the example? Just as. It's a comparison.

19:21 Just as Christ did what? Verb. Loved who? Guys, this is a downer. This is a tough one.

19:37 I mean, I'm not jumping up and down on this one. Well, let's find out why. How did Christ love the church? There's a good question. Just as Christ loved the church.

19:46 Well, okay. What do you mean by that? Help me out. Give me some more information. How did Christ love the church?

19:54 Ding. Who said that? Okay, you get a star. Ding. Okay?

19:58 What did he say? Sacrificially. I think he was defining love for us. Is love defined by the word sacrificial? Does your idea of love include the word sacrificial?

20:14 Should love include the idea of sacrificial? Yeah. Anybody else agree? Yeah. Guys, grunt.

20:28 Lady smile. That'll work. Now, we're way ahead of ourselves here but So, how did Christ love the church? What's underlined in red? Two words.

20:43 He himself. He gave himself up for her. We know that means he died for her. Observation, to love is to give oneself up for another. Okay?

21:07 You're... Guys, we're here married. We say we love our wives. Now, we understand that we are called to give ourselves up for her, sacrificial. It's going to cost me something.

21:23 It's going to cost... Well, it's not cost me things or dollars. It's cost me, me, me. I I gotta give me... Oh, I could give things.

21:31 I'll work overtime to give her a nice house and nice things. But me? No. No. No.

21:37 No. No. No. Don't want any part of that. How did Christ give her...

22:01 And that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. When did god demonstrate his love for us? The answer rhymes with smile. While He demonstrated that's an action. It's a visible, seeable, measurable action, behavior.

22:24 He demonstrated his love for us when we were all warm and fuzzy toward him and we liked him and we were fulfilling his greatest, fondest expectations. No. We didn't like god. We were sinners. We were throwing stones at him.

22:42 We were running away from him. And yet his arms are wide open and he's walking toward us. God demonstrated his love toward us while we were yet sinners. Christ died for us. I haven't always wanted to die for Judy.

23:10 When we got married, my love was all consumable that I'm going to get out of this marriage. Well, how I will benefit from Judy. Thirty, two years ago, thirty five, I forgot what I said now. I can't do math now. Thirty five years ago, That's how I define love.

23:36 By god's grace, it's not how it is now. I thought I loved Judy. Thirty five years ago. Today, I would say no. Paul, you were you weren't in the right ballpark.

23:51 You weren't in the right country. You were in a different galaxy. You're you're off. You're all about yourself. That's just all wrong.

24:00 God has moved me through life to learn to love somebody who may or may not meet my expectations, but I love and I invest in her because I love her not for what I can get out, not for what I hope to get in return. That has nothing to do with it. That's not love. Love walks into it knowing this is gonna cost me. Love walks into it unaware, oblivious to the expense that it's gonna have to pay in order to do this for their loved one.

24:38 Where you at? Guys, Yeah, we're leaning into the husbands real hard in this session but as with all our sessions, it's not so strongly balanced, weighted that way. If we looked around in the in this chapter of Ephesians five and back in the chapter four, we would find out, I have this responsibility for you, to love you, to love the people of my church, the people around Sedan. That that's I'm called to love. Love involves giving of myself, willing to die for.

25:20 So, yeah, I would... I think I'd be willing to die for Judy. I would like to absorb the pain that she has to go through so she wouldn't have to do that. I would like to. I think that's the integrity of my heart.

25:45 But then my father says, Paul, would you take the trash out today? So Judy doesn't have to? No. Don't want to do that. Would you do this other?

26:00 Would you, you know, wash dishes? All the mainstay things and some other things that aren't common. Not interested? No. It's Paul.

26:10 Hello. This is God talking to Paul. You say you're willing to die for her, but you won't turn the TV off and listen? Listen's on that wall, fellas. Expression of love right there.

26:28 I'll die for her, but I won't listen because what I'm doing is more important to me than listening to you. Oh. I have to say it that way. God demonstrated his love toward us and that while we were yet sinners, Is that a flattering word? Yeah.

26:54 I would like to be called a sinner. Mhmm. How about you? No. Icky.

27:09 I don't know where everybody is, and I have to say this. It's in... It's the text. We have to get this... We have to we have to work through this.

27:18 Sinners is a word for people who are running away from god. Living in sin, and probably enjoying it. We're born that way. Adam sinned back in the early days. Scripture says that what he did wrong there has been moved into us.

27:47 When we're born, we're born in the state of sin. We're born sinners, and it's not long before I demonstrate my sinfulness, and I, on my own, choose to sin. So whether I inherited it or not, I am a sinner. Well, I did inherit it, but if I wanted to argue, I'll... No, never mind.

28:10 God is a righteous God. He's a holy God. That means zero sin. Not even a... None.

28:22 There's no sin. He's a just god and a just judge. So when I come waltzing into life with this sin, I am under the wrath, the just wrath of God for my sin that I inherited was given to me from Adam, and I also demonstrated on my own. It's just wrath because I'm a sinner. God's righteousness and His justice demands that sin be judged.

28:56 And so I come in, and I'm under this oppressive wrath of God. I don't realize it. I'm just a kid. I'm running around, having a good time, playing with my toys. But I am under the wrath of God.

29:08 But God loved me. Loved. And He made a plan from way back then, I think before time started, He made a plan to deliver me from the oppressive judgment of God's wrath, and He sent His Son to earth to die on a cross. And the sin needs to be paid. He can't just say, okay, fine, I'll wipe it clean, you move...

29:34 You run along your way now, have a good time, because the sin hasn't been paid for. He took that that his judgment on sin, that wrath, and he poured it all into his son, Jesus Christ on the cross. The sin is now paid for. He can now... That...

29:54 And has been satisfied. His just judgment is satisfied. His righteous position, his holiness is satisfied. Sin has been paid for in the death of his son on the cross. Therefore, when I turn to him in faith and accept that free gift to me, he can declare me righteous.

30:13 I am, the Bible says, justified. I stand righteous. In the ledger book, there's this word righteous. It's credited to my account. Christ's righteousness is put into my account.

30:26 God looks at me, and he sees a righteous person. You look at me. You don't see a righteous person. God looks at me, and he sees a righteous person. That's what the sinner thing is about.

30:39 If we haven't moved from our sinful posture under the wrath of God to, by faith, accepting God's gift for us to have life and be justified by Him through the cross of Christ, we need to work on that first. We can talk and we can have fun, and we can give you little Band Aids to help your marriage out, but it will not be sustainable. It's those cheap Band Aids that that peel off. We have to deal with that first. There's more...

31:16 We'll talk some more about that, but we need to cover... You have to do business with God. Have I come to the point where I turned from allegiance to myself, turned from that, and turned and gave all my allegiance to God and God alone? Now how does this apply to husbands? Loving your wife is not what you can get out of her.

32:02 That's how I loved Judy when we were married. That's wrong. Loving my wife is not what I can get out of her. Loving your wife will cost you sacrifices. Loving your wife helps her to grow in godliness.

32:18 We didn't go over this first, but it's in there in in Philippians... Ephesians five, about partway through that, that Christ is doing this in order to present his bride pure and holy and spotless. That's what Christ is doing for the church. The comparison is what husbands are doing for their wives. We have a responsibility, husbands, to invest in our wives to help them grow in godliness.

32:47 That's not nitpicking, Adam. It's a loving father. It's a loving husband that finds appropriate ways to help them to grow in godliness. Giving her things is not the same as giving her you. Can I hear an amen from the female side?

33:07 Amen. And then when she's not all here, you're not all here. I'm so I'm not the only one that's goofed up tonight. Well, you you are here. So, never mind that.

33:46 Very... I love the how... I love this wording. Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. Live with your lot...

33:59 Lives. Live with your wives in an understanding way. This is a picture of our cat. His name is sir Winslow Fuzzleton. It was kinda more fitting when he was a kitten.

34:23 Sir Winslow, when I go to pet him, there are moments that he enjoys being petted. Yeah. There are moments when he does not enjoy being petted as well. What do I have to do? I need to learn the difference.

34:47 I need to learn when are the moments that he enjoys being petted if he gives any indications of that. So I study. I watch him. And I watch as well for those moments that are indicators when he does not want to be petted. Because I get his point then.

35:14 Husbands, we need to learn to live with our wives in an understanding way. My wife and I, we differ. I prefer to use just a few words, just a handful, or less if I can get away with it. She likes to use a plethora of words. She's got warehouses.

35:48 I'm sure warehouses of words stored someplace that have daily due dates, and she's gotta get through the daily allotment. I'm serious on this. This is something that... She'll tell me something, and I will hear three versions in the process. And even if it were just one version of the incident, it invariably includes these tangents that shoot off in these weird, unexplainable directions, the content of which, in my mind, I can't connect at all with the main storyline.

36:33 Far as I am concerned, it's... We could cut that right out. And then... So we go through all these words. And then, you know when we get to the main point?

36:49 Right here at the end, there's like a sentence or three words that kinda like boom. Bam. I'm thinking, cut, paste. Tell me what I need to know right here. I I think I'd be more inclined to listen through, and then I would fit everything together.

37:19 Our daughter, the same way. The two of them, they can use words. I told Judy, I says, guys don't have many words. If we run out, something bad happens. We use too many words.

37:37 That's not good. That doesn't end well. So my wife likes to use a lot of words. I don't like to listen to a lot of words. So what do I do?

37:50 Tune out. Tune out. Okay. Let's try this again. My wife likes...

38:02 We will deal with tuning out in a third session. You're right. I said, what do I do? So you're suggesting that that's what I do. Not any longer.

38:14 Okay. My... So what do I do? Listen. I'm learning to listen to a lot of words.

38:25 I can listen to some words, but I'm learning to listen to a lot of words. Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. I didn't see any. Are there handouts that have lists on them? Not exactly that way.

39:07 Who said that? Did somebody say conflict? Alright. So everything's here on the screen, and this will be easy now to keep private. What we want you to do, wives, here here are five things that are listed that smart people that write books have found, and we want wives go through and make a mental list.

39:32 Order these. You don't have to do all, but pick out your top one. Read all those. What's the top one that's most important to you? And then if you have time, pick a second and a third one.

39:42 But what we're really looking for is what is your... What's your... What's the one that you feel you need the most? Okay? Now without showing it to your husband and your husband without cheating, looking at your answers or reading your mind...

39:56 You do that. Right, Don? You have forty one years. Should be good by now. Guys, I want you to do the same thing.

40:08 You look at this list and you think, which one of these is most important to my wife? Now what's the most important to you? Think of your wife. What does my wife want the most off from this list? If you have time, go down to number two or, you know, get...

40:24 Pick a second choice and third choice. When you're all done, laugh nervously. Maybe we can get actually, I can send you these PowerPoints if you're interested in it. There's a sign up sheet in the back for stuff I didn't talk about earlier because I forgot. If you're interested in it, just give me some contact information.

41:05 I can... That will be on there. Okay. Now between the two of you, turn to one another. You should be sitting kinda close in proximity here.

41:16 And talk about what each of you thinks is number one. Okay? This is a this is a no fly zone. This is a peace zone. This is a simply talk quietly zone.

41:29 There's no high energy levels in our voices. There's no large motor skill movement. So just just quietly share with one another what each of you thinks is her number one need. Okay. Hate to cut this off, but you can continue the conversation at another time where you may be more comfortable.

42:00 Fortunate, didn't see anybody storming out. This is a good sign. Church membership or attendance hasn't been cut in half now. This is good. But it's it's just...

42:14 We'll get a... Get you copies of this. It's a tool that doesn't solve all problems except that it encourages talking, conversation between you. Well, what do you mean? I don't understand that.

42:28 Well, that may not have been the right tone. Help me understand why you see it that way. And that goes both ways. Now, fellas... No.

42:39 Shouldn't have said that. Strike that from the record. Who is in the best position to know the right answers on this question? You? Oh, you're pointing at your wife.

42:52 Okay. See, if we had this in paper form in front of us, some of us guys would say, I'm in the best position because I know. It's right here. I wrote it. You wanna see it?

43:01 This is what's right. No. That's not the standard. The wife is in the position... What she says is the standard.

43:09 Okay? If you disagree with that, you need to talk about it and work through that, but you can't undo that and say that's not right. That's wrong. This is right. What's over here?

43:17 She's the one that knows. Live with your wife in an understanding way. She's telling you something. This is gold, guys. Why?

43:56 Okay? Just give me a little space because I'm I'm making a point. Mhmm. Fellows, you notice what's on her list. You see on this wall what's on the ladies list.

44:10 Okay? These are interesting to you so that your prayers will not be hindered. What are you praying for? I think I know. Wow.

44:27 Look at that. I wonder if these are prayerless. Now I'm I'm twisting some stretching things here a bit because I told you don't do this. Don't do those in order to get that. Okay?

44:46 That's wrong. But I didn't want to get that on your radar. What are you praying for? We're praying for the mission, okay? If we are followers of Christ, are we parts of the great commission?

45:05 Is that my responsibility to go and make disciples of all nations? Baptizing, teaching them to do all? That's maturity language, not just evangelism. The mission is to turn hearts toward god rather to Christ for salvation or toward Christ for maturity in Christ likeness. My prayers probably have something to do with the mission.

45:31 Your marriage is one subgroup of that mission. Fellas, our jobs, our responsibility, our role is to invest in our wives to help them grow in godliness, turn their heart toward god because salvation isn't just an evangelistic thing. That's why I like the terminology turning hearts toward God. It doesn't matter who I'm talking to. I'm trying to turn their heart toward God.

46:02 They might be saved, they might be unsaved. It doesn't matter. I just want you to turn to God. Turn to God. And I don't want to turn you away from God.

46:12 I don't want to get all up in your face. I don't want to do it stupid and turn you away from God. That's intolerable. How could I, a follower of Christ, possibly allow that in my life? And yet, it weasels its way in.

46:28 We need one another to say, Paul, chill. Take a chill pill. Our prayers, fellas, shining example of the glory of God, a godly woman. Who doesn't want a godly woman? I I mean, I do.

47:07 Answer this question. What would life be like if husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church? I I kind of think it's a hard question but go ahead and wrestle with it. We we need or we have to have an answer. It probably looks different ways.

47:37 What would it look like if we could get it this together? Right. They reject. Not everybody accepts Christ. Yeah.

48:17 Even in his lifetime, they rejected. What would that home be like if my wife and I were walking together in godliness and I was loving her for our children, if we had young children, for them to grow up in that environment? I was talking with a couple earlier. Tremendous example of bringing their children up in a godly home. I think that's one look at it.

48:49 Another picture is Judy and I are a team. We're one. I mean, there's no team. There's we're one. And when we go together out into the community or wherever we are, the impact we could have on people, turning their hearts toward god because I love her as Christ loves the church.

49:08 There's no junk here. This oneness is like the triunity. Father, son, and holy spirit. Is there any junk in the triunity? The answer is no.

49:21 No junk there. If there were no junk between Judy and I, we'd be unstoppable. God and the spirit that you just flow through us. We would be nonexistent, but he could flow through us and touch lives and turn them in ways that he knows how to do, and I wouldn't be the stopper, shortening things up. Think about that question.

49:54 Father One word comes to my mind is patience. Father, you are patient with us. You're patient with me. You're always running toward us prodigals with your arms open in love. I don't get this right.

50:19 And I'm trying to get it right, and I don't get it right. And yet you're still calling me, Paul. Come to me. Turn to me. Paul, stop sinning.

50:35 Turn to me. Lord, you know why you have invited each couple here today. You have a reason. I ask, Lord, that your spirit and you would be free to roam around through all of our minds, mine included, to persuade us and convince us of things that we argue against and to turn our hearts, to work in our hearts, and and and shift our affections that are misplaced and bring them over to where you want them to be. Lord, we've leaned hard on husbands this hour.

51:29 Keep working with us to love our wives like you love the church. Lord, even further, don't let us do this alone. Help us to find some godly brothers that we can journey this together with. So that the enemy cannot get a foothold in our lives. Lord, we beg and plead with you to answer this prayer for the sake of Jesus' name.

52:01 Amen.