Marriage Conference Session 3 — 1 Peter 3

0:00 I don't know if I'll get time to express my appreciation at the end of our time together, but I want to say thank God for giving me this opportunity. I want to thank the elders here for arranging and for asking me to come to share God's word. And also, brother Ray, thank you for all what you did. And, you know, I was thinking about our dinner. I was sharing with our brother.

0:34 If you can go to a fancy restaurant and you could not get steak any better, Did a great job. Give a round of applause to our dear brother. Not just him, the entire team who worked hard. You know I heard, when I came here I saw a lot of young people actively putting everything together. I was feeling well.

1:04 I wish that was the case in some other assemblies, even the place where I am. And I said, thank God for all the young people here, how active they were in putting things together. God bless you all. Thank you, Tim and company, you're doing a great job. Great service, not only here, but for all those who are attending this conference from afar.

1:28 Thank you, God bless, God bless all of you. I was talking during our break to a beloved brother who's a leadership coach, and I was mentioning about how I teach one class. It's titled Power, Conflict, Change and Transformational Leadership. And as part of that course, I talk about power and there are five sources of power that are written in Bass Handbook of Leadership. It's used in as a standard textbook in many, many prestigious universities.

2:12 And they talk about five types of power: coercive power, referent power, official power, reward power, and expert power. And then I asked students in the seminary here, do you think they got all kinds of power? They've already covered everything that there is to cover? Sometimes they give me the answer, sometimes just silence. Do you think I've covered the different forms of power?

2:58 And then it comes to one other form of power that is not mentioned in secular settings. And you know what that is? Spiritual power. And then I look at the bible, and then I see the verse which says, true power belongs to God. Once have I said this, I say it again.

3:23 The psalmist said, true power belongs to God. And all the powers that these secular universities teach are only what? Delegated power. Power which God in his grace gives to people. So earlier remember I started from what?

3:42 General revelation, isn't it? Things that have come up from research analysis and surveys of people and their experiences and how that leads to conflict and all the things that go on. If you want to read more about that you can go to the book that I mentioned earlier and that is of course the title One of Us Must Be Crazy and I'm pretty sure it's you. And you'll get all kinds of secondary supplementary information. It was written in 2010 and there are many other good resources like that.

4:33 Of course they are both Christians and they also took in surveys of Christians as well. But what I'm coming to say was no consideration of analysis and surveys and all of those things, they remain at the human level, human universals. But then we got to move to special revelation, to what God has to say about marriage and family and conflict and all of that. If that's not there, then what we find is, well, even like I said in the beginning, people of other religions, they may have a great relationship or even no religion. I was talking about with that with some of our dear ones here.

5:21 A majority of millions these days, if you ask them, what is your faith background? What did they say? What is your faith background? What did they say? Christian.

5:35 Think again. Thank you for the answer. Appreciate that. Yes. Yes!

5:43 What did they say? Maybe you didn't hear it. None, N O N E. Majority of the millennial younger generation, if you ask them their religious background none. That's the world in which we live and therefore we need to talk about the bible and what the bible says and the perspective that God brings and defines and shapes and molds human understanding so that it's our understanding is not just at the human level but it transcends that so that what we learn helps us in our walk with the Lord and continues on into eternity.

7:46 It says dwell with them according to knowledge, according to understanding. And that knowledge can be of two different kinds. One is knowledge that you get from the world and from your analysis and study and all of that. But then there is knowledge that God gives, that is found in the Bible. So we need to use both kinds of knowledge and of course what is found in the Bible supersedes or tells us about God's answer to the various situations of life.

8:24 So dwell with your wife according to knowledge and then people take off on, wives are the weaker vessels. Yeah, husbands are weak too. Who said that I am weak or weaker? There are so many people who are very strong, especially the ladies. But look what it says here without getting hung up on weaker and weak.

8:51 It says giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel. That means what? When you connect both aspects there's nothing wrong about being weaker because scripture says give more honor. Isn't that amazing? Be considerate knowing that while you're weak you consider her weaker and because of that you give her extra special honor.

9:23 And then it moves on, being heirs together of the grace of life. Yes, just like both man and woman were made in the image of God, equal, here also you are heirs together of the grace of life. Standing before God is one and the same. God accepts both male and female, husband and wife. In God's grace there is equal acceptance, but then there is God's government or order in the home and also in the church, things like that, which needs to be considered as well.

10:10 And then it says, that your prayers be not hindered. That means if due consideration is not given to dwelling with wives according to understanding and giving them honor considering they are weaker vessels and not considering them equal Co heirs of the grace of life, you know what happens? God doesn't hear our prayers. Wow! Some people, they think that they can have a relationship with God and God will hear their prayers when they don't pay attention to these things.

10:57 It's so important as we study God's word that we realize how much God takes care, yes, of both the husband and the wife and how our relationship at the vertical level is greatly impacted, affected if our relationship at the horizontal level with our spouse is not what it should be. And that goes for the ladies as well, it's written there in verses one through six as well. So with that as a background, I want to move on to how we can dream together. I know as our time progresses by, I'll be going quicker. So I have two sets of notes.

12:03 Remember I'm a teacher. So this says how to dream together and all what I'll be sharing is here. So you don't go home with what? Oh, I didn't. We ran through that rather quickly, we didn't get it.

12:17 So you can go home, it's still there. So here's that side together, okay? I think you have enough. The Lord led me to make enough copies before coming. And this side is a little exercise for married couples.

12:31 Because we just don't have time, I wish it was a whole day conference, I'd be happy with it. Husband and wife, you have to sit down, hold hands, face each other, and ask this question. What do you need most from me as your spouse? Write down those answers. So you'll have one copy for each, you know, for both person.

12:52 Sorry, you're sitting in front of me. Then secondly, what are some aspects about me that bother you the most? Be open. I wish we could do this here for half an hour and then read your responses, it will be very interesting. The third item is now that you know the greatest need and the greatest bothers, ask forgiveness for not knowing the needs and for doing wrong.

13:26 And then I talk about another point four which I'm going to start now, and then one other point is there. So here you are, one copy for each person and let it go around so that everybody gets a copy. Now some of you are single. Did I forget you? You're here too, and of course the resources I've used are here.

13:54 I forgot to put it down there, but those of you who are single, I don't know. Front Front row. Where, here? Okay, go ahead. It's here if you want some copies, it's available here.

14:26 And then that part I didn't make as many copies but the resources that are very helpful useful are mentioned there. So I mentioned about one Peter three:seven as a key text and how it contains such important information for us. So as we think about dreaming together or how to dream together the number one thing I want all of us to keep in mind is here. Pray together and pray for one another. It's there in the outline.

15:30 I I mean, you know, I'm not... I I... Considering that this is a conference and a church, I... I'm sure you all pray. And...

15:44 But there is, you know, when we are with children, our prayer changes, and then, you know, in our situation where we are empty nesters and we are just the two of us, you know what we can pray the content changes but I just want to say pray together. If you are with children let there be a time when you pray together alone and in those prayer times pray together, pray for one another. Why is this so important? Because as I mentioned earlier, we are... I want to use one long word.

17:03 That's another question. It constitutes the mind, the will or the heart, and then the emotions. And when the three come together, that's the soul or the personality of a person. This is the inner self. This is along with the spirit.

17:27 This is what goes to heaven at the point of death while the body is buried. And for those who do not have the Holy Spirit, they have a human spirit. At the point of death their souls don't go to heaven. I don't know if all of you who are seated here or listening over the Zoom, if you are those who have put your trust in the Lord Jesus. I just want you to know how important it is that God the Holy Spirit comes and take residence in your human spirit and all humanity after the fall are born with that human spirit that is unable to have a relationship with the one true living God, the God of the Bible.

18:38 And because of that there's darkness within and it's only at the point of accepting Christ. When the heart turns to Christ, we find when the Holy Spirit comes in, this human spirit that is in darkness, is drawing in information from the world, from culture, from learning, from so many different from religion, from so many different avenues or areas, suddenly this human soul becomes lit with light. Knowledge of the one true living God begins to understand God and his perspective, begins to have a fresh understanding of the Word of God. You read that in first Corinthians chapter three and verse 14 and following. That's why there it says, even when they read Moses, there was a veil upon their heart and they could not understand.

19:41 But that veil is removed when the heart turns to Christ. Why? The Holy Spirit that comes within now enables them to have this great relationship with God. It begins to understand God, begins to look at things from God's perspective, and begins to say, Wow, I never knew this. Oh God, if this is what and how you want me to live in my married life, I humble myself, I obey, I will follow you.

20:26 So coming back, I said, we are spiritual psychosomatic beings. You know, so body soul can be fulfilled and sometimes you see here the expression, we are soul mates, but there is still this spiritual aspect and you know that fulfillment of the spirit can only be achieved by God's help. I think it was Augustine who once said, God created man with a vacuum in his heart and that vacuum can only be filled with God. And no matter how much we as people in this world, human universals try to find fulfillment and yet you will find, yes some sort of and yet unfulfillment because there is this spiritual part that remains unfulfilled and only God can provide fulfillment in that area. And that's why there is the great need to pray.

21:32 You know some of the things that are written in Scripture, Ephesians chapter five verse 22 and following there it says, Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church. It's a staggering command. How can I do that? Well it is the Spirit of God that enables me to do that. In my flesh I fail but by the Spirit of God when I'm obedient to the leading and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I am unable though I fail at times to live like that.

22:05 So pray together. I just want to say whenever I have taken family prayer a little lightly, immediately things began to unravel in my family life. God knows when I'm extremely busy or when I'm extremely tired. My wife is a helper suitable for me at that time, she leads in prayer in the family. But at other times when I take God for granted, the last week I got by and she did it and that's okay.

22:44 I can take little things a little lightly. You know what happened? Things will begin to unravel in my life, in her life, in our children's life, in our workplace. Then immediately the thought comes to mind, my relationship with the Lord is not right. I need to get back to where I am, and then I do what God has called me to do, and then things settle down.

23:09 Oh beloved, we need to pray. Pray together and when children are out of the home or even when children are at the home, together. There are things that you can pray that maybe you don't want to share with the children, but you know the things we talked about earlier, soccer LS. Maybe we can think about that and ask God to help us to understand one another and to relate to one another and to find how we can walk together, live together in harmony. Let me also say this, whenever a spouse finds an excuse for not praying together, That is the beginning of marital problems.

24:10 Something is wrong. Sometimes there may be a valid reason. In these days, even if people are traveling and all of that, they can do this over the phone, they can do this by video call. So many different mediums are there at this time. And so therefore we need to pray together and we need to pray for each other.

24:38 Very very important men, husbands, your wife will be a fulfilled person when she hears you pray for every aspect of her life and well-being. Wives your husband will be a faithful person when he hears you pray for every aspect of his life and well-being. It's not that you can fulfill everything, there are many things that we can't do and you're asking God not only to protect, to watch over and God does what He alone can do. There is a saying that in real estate there are three most important words, what are they? Okay, you got it right.

25:39 Location, location, location. In real married state there are three important words. You know what they are? Prayer, prayer and prayer. Please do not take that lightly, it's very very important.

26:46 But otherwise submit as unto the Lord. And very often submission is considered to be such a difficult thing to do. I agree. Why? Well, he's not all that I thought he should be or would be.

27:09 Why would I submit? From a human perspective that could be a question. From a biblical perspective, that's because God wants order in the home and God has placed the husband, the spiritual leader of the home. Whether we like it or not, remember in the Garden Of Eden, Adam and Eve were there, Eve was first deceived, but God did not go to Eve and say, hey Eve, what did you do? And God asked Adam, where are you?

27:51 Ever since that time, after sin Adam is hiding behind Madam. Perhaps you've heard this before, as husbands in terms of spiritual leadership, God has placed on us the responsibility of prophet, priest and king. In the same way as Christ relates to the church, as prophet what do we do? Communicate God's word to the people, as a prophet in the home communicate God's word to the family. I think no husband can say, I don't know the Bible.

28:44 Remember your children, when they were born, they didn't come with knowing the Bible. So there's no excuse. It is up to the husband in every home to teach God's Word and on occasion when he's unable to do so, the wife fulfills that role. He's not only the prophet but he's also the priest. That means what?

29:15 A priest offers spiritual sacrifices on behalf of the people to God. So also it is the husband's role to lead in family prayer, to tell the children at home, time to stop your studies, time to stop internet, time to stop television, and for us also to do that and to say it's time to pray. And when everybody is awake, not when everything is over and then half asleep and then to try to say something from scripture or to say a quick word of prayer. So a prophet, priest and king, not as a dictator, but as a servant leader in the model of the Lord Jesus Christ, leading by example. And when we live like that, wives doing their part, husbands doing their part, you will find that the children sees that.

30:18 It becomes like I said, it's their background and they also look at that and it becomes part of their lives. C. S. Lewis once wrote like this saying, When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do. Insofar as I learned to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God or instead of God I shall be moving toward a state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all.

31:01 When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased. In relation to loving your spouse and giving her priority, there's something else I will quickly mention and move on. You know, we come with differences and we talked about that. And there are so many struggles we have to face together. And yet the matter to mention here is accept your spouse 100% as God's gift in your marriage With whatever shortcomings or failures or difficulties, yes.

31:51 Remember Adam when God handcrafted Eve and brought her to Him? Adam didn't say, No, I want a little bit differently. I could say other things but you know I want to be careful. Okay, what did Adam do? He broke out into poetry, isn't it?

32:13 This then is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh. Adam accepted the gift that God gave in his life 100%. It is when you do that, then thought of divorce doesn't come into your mind. You see, that's why the scriptural biblical understanding is so critical. The world talks about divorce, anything, many things.

32:49 But when we think about your spouse as God's gift 100%, you know Scripture says, the works of God are without repentance. God never says, oops, I made a mistake. I should not have brought the two of you together because Scripture says, Matthew chapter 19, if the Lord said this, But therefore God has joined together, let no man put us under. And you see God has joined the two together, not just the human persons who made you repeat the vows. And when we respect God and when we obey God and right from the start of our marriage, it's not like after things have become difficult and now you're trying to come back because some hurts are so deep that it takes a long time for the wounds to heal.

33:49 But right from the moment of your marriage or even before, those of you who are not married you're still listening to this message wherever you are. Think about that. Accept your spouse 100% as God's gift in your marriage. And then the thoughts of divorce doesn't come into your mind because now you're thinking, I need to work out this. And marriage is work.

34:27 You scratch my back, I'll scratch your back. That's not what the Bible teaches. The Bible teaches because I love God, I will obey what the Bible teaches 100% irrespective of what you do. And their spouse also says, both spouses are saying, I'm not going to look at how you're going to do it, part, that's your accountability before God. But I will fulfill God's word and live it out 100%.

35:08 That's why in scripture you don't find husband's rights and women's rights or wife's rights. The Bible only offers husband's responsibility to the wife and the wife's responsibility to the husband. It's a lot to say. Willard F. Harley in 1986 again conducted a survey of many, many couples including Christians and he wrote a book titled His Needs, Her Needs in 1986.

35:50 He's gone through several reprints, editions and the latest one is 2022. There were slight changes here and there. The title has changed but the main title still remains His Needs, Her Needs. And after all the research and analysis, do you know what was number one on men's need of the five that were mentioned? I think they mentioned 10 but you know.

36:20 Number one was respect. Number two was sexual fulfillment. Third was recreational companionship, an attractive spouse and domestic support. You know what was her need? Number one, affection or emotional security.

36:45 Remember we talked about security? Conversation, honesty and openness, financial commitment, family commitment, loyalty. Isn't that amazing? 1986 through research this book was published two thousand years ago the Lord very clearly in the scriptures says what? Wives, when you say submit to your husbands in the Lord, what is it saying?

37:15 Respect your husband. That's his basic need, the number one need. And what about the wives? Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church. Now they come up with research two thousand years before it's written there.

37:34 In the scriptures, love your wives as Christ loved the church emotional security. God's word is all sufficient, and I'm glad that research affirms some of these things, and that's good. Now the third point that I mention here as part of the outline that I've given you is about think of soccer LS, isn't it? Now what I have done here is I have included the points that we mentioned and also the two sub points. For security, the two sub points were protection and provision for order, structure and control for caring, awareness and initiative for connection, communication and decision making for entertaining, sociability and energy for responsibility, obligations and expectations.

38:42 For loyalty, faithfulness and priority. For sexuality, sexual me and spiritual me. Where did I put all of that there? So that when you go home and analyze what you hear here, say I got soccer LS but I don't know those other things, they were important but it just went over my head, you get what I mean? It's too fast, it's here now in writing.

39:07 Think about it, Go over it. I trust you will realize that these dreams do not pass away. Know them, understand your spouse and take necessary action. Number four, if you hurt one another, ask forgiveness. When I'm saying if, very often that happens.

39:34 And with all what we considered, we can say, yes, there's a lot of hurt. And when we look at all these different areas. Doctor. Gary Chapman has written a wonderful book, Five Languages of Apology. Often when I speak on this subject, I talk about what needs to be done in order to have full complete forgiveness because sometimes people say sorry.

40:11 It's like my children, you know they fight with each other, they do some things and I say, say sorry. They say, sorry. Do they really mean sorry? Nah, they don't mean nah. Just because daddy said, I say oh sorry.

40:27 Sometimes we say sorry like that. If it's really sorry. There's a verse of scripture but I'm not going to that, that's a full message on its own. Here are 12 golden words to help in most marriage situations. I am wrong.

40:53 I am sorry. Please forgive me. That's nine. I love you. Sometimes I tell my wife I love you.

41:04 You know what she'll say? Show it in action. Because words are easy to come by. How are you? Here's the one, Show it in action, you get what I mean?

41:16 Yes. So I am wrong. It's very hard to accept responsibility for wrongdoing. I am sorry, true genuine repentance. Both with God and with man this works.

41:35 Please forgive me. And then it's at that point it's up to the other person to forgive or not. That person can say, yes, I forgive. Or they can say, I need little more time. Often it depends on the depth of the hurt or the issue or the subject for someone to come back and say, I forgive you right away.

42:05 And we need to wait sometimes for that to happen. But sometimes, you know, forgiveness is given. And then show I love you through what can I do to make up? I want to change my behavior. It's a lot to say, but let's move on.

43:01 At the bottom are psychological needs, then safety, love and belonging, esteem and then self actualization. That means reaching one's highest potential. So also in communication there is a pyramid. Ritual and routine are at the bottom. How the day?

43:26 This, that, things like that. And then there's gossip, news, facts, higher level. Then there is ideas are shared and judgments are made. That means yeah that's good, bad, you know those expressions come at the third level. And then at the fourth level is feelings and emotions.

43:54 As we can say I feel bad, I feel hurt, I feel I'm disturbed. Many things are expressed at that level and you know it's at the highest level when you have really intimacy. And in many couples in their conversation, if we don't have time and if the mode is not right, it does not reach the intimate level. They can be living together under the same roof and going by in life but they don't feel fulfilled or close or have communicated with your wife. And there's something about that.

44:39 As you reach higher levels, there is also of self disclosure in terms of intimacy, you will find that there is also risk. And therefore we need wisdom from God in terms of what we will share and how we will share and when we will share. But it is at that higher level when that kind of conversation is there. Especially it is there that the spiritual aspect also is there. Deep heart connection, soul connection, spirit connection is there.

45:26 When you think about not only fulfilling all these needs at the human level, you also think about what needs can I do to advance the kingdom of God? So that's what I can say in relation to conversation. You know I've written there Ephesians chapter three verse 29 to 32. You can go home and read that. There it says: Let no corrupt communication come from your mouth but such as which ministers grace to the hearers.

46:04 Yes, and as I was thinking about that, I don't know about your relationship at home, but when things deteriorate, sometimes hurtful things can be said, very disrespectful words can be used, curse language can be used. It may not be here in the church, but that's what happens. And you know what? That can demean the other person so much. Sometimes the hurts are so deep that though you forgive you can't forget.

46:41 So at certain occasions it's better not to say certain words. And you know, in order for words to minister grace, God's grace and also grace in relation to one another, meaning forgiveness, grace is also unmerited favor to the other person. When we do that, next time you have to say something to your spouse, think about, can I say what I'm about to say in the sight of God? Will God accept that and give me mercy? Because it's only when I demonstrate or give mercy can I also accept mercy both from my spouse and also mercy or forgiveness from God?

47:46 Very important number five. Number six: what is God's purpose in marriage? Earlier we touched on that briefly. We said very often people get married to be happy. God is no killjoy.

48:13 God wants us to be happy. God wants us to be fulfilled. God wants us to enjoy life but then God has a purpose also. And we need to keep that in mind. Purpose, what is that purpose?

48:33 That you and I, we become more and more like the Lord Jesus, confirmed to His image. So what can we say in relation to that? One Thessalonians chapter four verse two says: And this is the will of God even your sanctification. In other words, scripture says, yes as much as God wants you to be happy, God's purpose in marriage is that we would become increasingly holy. We cannot be happy without becoming holy because then we don't have God's help or God's favor or God's blessing.

49:24 But when we think about holiness, God's purpose in marriage and think about how we can increasingly become more like a son because He has just and thus prepared us for eternity, then you will find God's blessing, God's grace, God's favor, things begin to work, things begin to move, things begin to change. And you know it's not only about sanctification. You know in Malachi chapter two verse 14 it says, God is looking for a godly seed. That means what children who are godly. Oh when we have all kinds of arguments and conflicts at home, children will say, oh I wish I can get out of the home, I wish I can be somewhere else where I can be peace, where I can have peace.

50:29 And in so many Christian homes too, parents don't realize that. And you know I read a book that someone wrote which says children are like wet cement. You know, when you put an impression in wet cement, that remains there. So also when there's conflict in the home, argument in the home, disagreement about everything, very often children exploit one parent for the, you know, in order to get favors done. And then what?

51:05 God is looking for godly seed. So therefore what do we do? Even if we have those intense moments of fellowship, what do we do? Hey, we talk about that privately in the confines of where our children are not there. We try to resolve our differences so that with the children and they are watching.

51:27 That's why some children I'm sad to say this, they don't want to come to church where the parents go. Why? Because they see us in our pajamas not when we are dressed in church clothes. They say, I don't wanna go to church in our home, the same church, because in our home things are not what it should be. So God requires a Godly seed for the sake of our next generation, the kind of imprint that we are having upon their lives.

52:52 But if the church together is thinking about how we can reach out to the unbelievers, to others, to bring them also into the fold, we find that God's heart is there, it pleases the heart of God. Here's number seven: God is in a covenant relationship with you. I remember mentioning Malachi chapter two and verse 14, there it says about how God is in a covenant relationship. What do you mean by covenant? In olden days, you know, remember the time of Abraham when a covenant was established between Abraham and God, the animal was split and we find that the light moved in between the pieces.

53:49 Abraham was not part of that covenant but God made an unconditional covenant, only the light moved between the pieces. What do we learn from that? When it's a covenant relationship, when it is broken, essentially we are saying, if I break this relationship, let me be broken like this animal. And that's horrible. When we think about conflict, separation, division, divorce, all of those things, We are inviting the consequences of such situations into our lives.

54:39 It brings brokenness in our lives, in the lives of our children and in so many areas. So God is in a covenant relationship with us. And you know when we talked about sexuality, especially when we relate to one another in the physical aspect of sexuality and when we think about Ephesians chapter five verses 22 to 33 and all what is written there, where the Apostle Paul says, I talking about a great mystery that is between Christ and the Church. Remember earlier we said about Savior? It says, for He is the Savior of the body.

55:25 And then sanctifier washing with the water, the word of God. And then satisfier, even though I do not eat, I make sure that my wife has what she needs, savior, sanctifier, satisfier, or I have written here as sacrificial love. Instead of I, me mentality to we and to see how I can love my spouse. And it needs to be both ways. And when that not only sacrificial love but increasing sanctification and selfless love And every time remember that when we have sexual intimacy, this is a celebration of your covenant marriage relationship.

56:42 Let's come to the last point. Let the love and respect for your spouse be a testimony in this world. I forgot about all the PowerPoints. Let's come here. I got so much into the message.

57:00 Okay. It's all here. But since it's already with you, so I'm not... You see, but I'm just coming here. You know, in relation to you know, let the love and respect for your spouse be a testimony before a watching world that is often hopelessly lost and broken when it comes to marriage and family.

57:26 You know I was greatly impressed by this picture. This is the pearly gates, there's Billy Graham come there, and then I don't know who this angel is or if this is reality, but you know, it pictures for us something that's very sacred. And there is certain millions of people here want to thank you. What will be our testimony? In a world that is so broken when it comes to marriage, gender and so many things that go on in the culture today that instead of getting impacted, influenced and dragged into those things to say, I want by the grace of God to live a life of testimony for my life is not just about the here and now but it is also one day when I shall stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

58:38 And there will be accorded unto me a great and glorious entrance into eternity and there will be many many who will look at my married life, my family life and say, I want the same thing in my family life as well. And they will emulate us, they will look at our, they will ask us for how we made it through, how God helped us and you, especially many of you older folks, I encourage all the younger folks to listen, to take time, to spend time with the elders, the older folks in the church, to ask them. Don't think they have nothing to say. They have a wealth of experience to share with you. Tell us how did you make it in your family life.

59:30 How is it that you have such a wonderful family life and follow their example. May it be a testimony in the way in which we live our lives that the next generation will see that and say we want to repeat the same things. Not to say, I wish I'm out of this home, I'm done with it, and also with this church. Here are the resources I've used. It's there in that outline I gave you, especially it's in the handout in relation to singles.

60:58 And very soon he fell into sexual immorality, things like that, and then the marriage ended up in divorce. Of course divorce can be for many other reasons as well. But in his particular state, this is what he himself said and I'm saying based on what he said as testimony, it's recorded too. And you know, he said, I came to the Lord through two ladies in the workplace who witnessed to me. And after that my life changed.

61:43 I knew the wrong that I had done, I wanted to set it right and one of the things that I prayed for for several months was to go back to my wife. Would she accept me? What would she say? Those were all things that he struggled with. One day he mustered up enough courage so he went back to his wife and in very broken words he shared with her of his desire.

62:20 He has to ask her for forgiveness and to come back into her life and the life of the children. She did not accept him right away because she did not know whether his repentance was genuine and whether it would only be something temporary. But he said, I will remain faithful for the next few years. And at the end of those few years, I forgot the exact timing, she accepted him back. And you know what?

63:05 He had to give her time. What I was coming to say was, and they got remarried. He is now providing leadership at a very high level as a chaplain to the group of people on the board. That's why I said in the beginning, there's hope only in Christ and in Christ alone. So I don't know where your marriage is, only it's something between you and God, but there's hope in Christ and in Christ alone.

63:51 And here's the second illustration which is before you about Doctor. Robertson McQuilliken. Do you know about that, have you heard about him? Robertson McQuilliken? Yes sir, thank you.

64:05 He was the president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary. After about almost forty years of marriage, his wife started having Alzheimer's and very soon she just could not even allow him out of her sight. It's a long story, have a three page or four page article written here. I'm just saying it from memory. Sometimes she was so she wanted to hold on to him and only to be ministered by him, so when he would go to the office, which was half a mile walk from his home, he says it's a mile to go back and forth, She would, after he had gone, walk to that place and come back, and she would walk that at least 10 times a day.

65:06 And he said at night I would change her, including taking off her shoes in order to go to bed, I'd see her bloodied feet. And then I took her to the doctor, and the doctor said, what love, What love? That lady would walk so many miles that day just because she could not get to be apart from him. And you know, when the board and many people as part of Columbia International University said we want you to continue, why don't you institutionalize her? You continue here, we want you here, you are the founder and many things like that.

66:06 He resigned because he said it was not a conflict between two loves. But she took care of me for almost forty years. Now it's my turn to take care of her. Now it's my turn to take care of her. And that's what he did when he resigned from that position.

66:34 And then he went to the doctor one day who was an oncologist, and the doctor said something like this because many people started talking just like I'm talking about the great sacrifice that Robertson McWilliam did. And this oncologist said, Most women stay with their men till the end. But this is such a, you know, but let me finish the statement. Most women stay with their men, but only some men stay with their women. And that's why this became such a sensation as an example in this world.

67:30 By the way, all of this is human love. Think about God who loved you from eternity past and present and into the future. How much more should we love God? I cannot just leave you with saying to love one another. No wonder it is written in God's Word.

67:57 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind. The love of God is so great, so deep. No wonder the Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians chapter three, yes the depth, the breadth, the length, the height of the love of God is beyond understanding and it is as we peek into that love we begin to be filled with all the fullness of God. I urge you beloved brothers and sisters in the Lord, as much as you love one another, always keep in mind the great love that God had shown toward each one of us. Now I want to give you a final takeaway.

69:18 Yes, sir, I got it, I got it. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I just said love, I love, love. You know how they do that? Like that.

69:32 And sometimes you can do... That means what? I love you. I love you very much, you know, or you can just be like that. Maybe when you go home, maybe you can do that, isn't it?

69:46 And do that often. And then my brother said, there's another way of also saying I love you using sign language. And you know what that is? Like that, isn't it? I've seen that.

70:02 Not too long ago, I saw Aaron Rodgers of you know, packers do that. I know, what's he doing? And then I looked at that and I said, hey. So I'm thinking every day morning when I get up, say, that means what? More than just love, I'm saying, I love you.

70:18 I love you Lord. Then I say to my wife, what? I love you. I love you as well. I wanna leave you with that, something to take home, something to remember.

70:35 I love you. From far. Remember when we when we go away in car, we do like this. How about next time like that? I love you.

70:47 I love you. God bless all of you. Amen.