Internal relationships Family part 1 — Colossians 3

0:00 Okay. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. If you would please open up to Colossians chapter three.

0:06 Colossians chapter three. Last night, we we looked at that initial relationship, our faith, that all these relationships that we are responsible for, whether it's marital or familial or friendships or relationships within the assembly. Right? If your relationship with Jesus is not where it's supposed to be, all those others are gonna be a failure. And so one of the things we looked at was Peter had to learn.

0:37 Right? And we learned that we have a fickle heart. And I learned that even last night myself because I introduced myself. I talked all about myself and I never even introduced to you my family. Serves you how self centered and selfish I am.

1:03 We went to two assemblies in Connecticut. Our families were good friends with mutual families. We crossed paths several times. In fact, if you guys are familiar with Awana, when I started dating my wife, her dad pulled out an old Awana video. The Grand Prix, you know, the Pine Box Derby cars.

1:19 And in my wife's childhood video, there's me in the video. Hey, at six years old or eight years old, whatever it is. So, it's kind of cool how we, before we even knew each other, we were crossing each other's paths. But, since that time, we have eight children. We have eight children.

1:35 Unfortunately, I can only bring five with me this weekend. But we have a 23 year old Lydia who I mentioned last night. She's married. We have a granddaughter. Her name is Myra.

1:44 And we're thankful that she married a godly man, that they both love the Lord and are serving the Lord and trying to raise little Myra in a God fearing home. So we're thankful for that. I have a 21 year old son. His name is Trey. He's John the third, but we call him Trey.

1:58 And, he now is in heating and cooling. So he has a full time job, trying to get him out of the house. And... But we were allowed him to stay to pay off his school loans right now. But...

2:09 And then we have Anna. Anna's 19. And she also has a job. She's working for a chiropractor. And she's looking at maybe going to Emmaus in the fall.

2:20 So we'll be, we'll be praying for her about what she wants to do with Eliza. And then we have Elijah. Elijah's back there. 17 year old senior year of high school. And we have Elizabeth.

2:30 Elizabeth is 15. We have Abigail, 13. 14 now? No, 13. Okay.

2:37 I got to look. Don't ask me when their birthdays are. I just, it's hard enough to know when they're... And then we have Karen who's nine, and Selah who's six. So, yeah, Selah.

2:47 That's right. We ran out of girls names, so then we got Selah from the Psalms there. So, yeah, I don't know what happened. It was girl, boy, girl, boy, and then, I don't know, girl, girl, girl, girl after that. I kept trying for that one more boy, but who knows, maybe still could happen.

3:18 Right? If someone were to say Michelangelo, what is Michelangelo known for? Yes. That's right. Very good.

3:23 The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. You might get different answers for this. What about Beethoven? What do think Beethoven's most remembered for? I know there's a discrepancy here.

3:34 I say fifth symphony, but whatever. Okay? Right? But it's certainly remembered for some of his works. George Lucas.

3:41 Star Wars. Star Wars, of course. Yes. Right? Each masterpiece, right, reveals something of its creator.

4:19 And then God blessed them and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. We we catch a glimpse of the artist at work by reading the first two chapters of Genesis. He spoke galaxies into existence, formed the mountains, filled the oceans, planted forests with a magnificent range of color and variety.

4:55 His playful side is evident in creatures such as hummingbirds or ostriches or skunks. But the masterpiece, I think, that reveals more about God than anything else shows up when God made something called family. You see, there are two essential elements of family. Right? We have marriage and we have parenthood.

5:22 And they reveal God's character, I believe, like nothing else in creation. The love between a husband and a wife provides a glimpse of Christ's passionate devotion to us, his bride. In the same way, the ups and downs of parenthood offer a compelling picture of God's tenderness and patience towards us as his children. Right? And and family doesn't just reflect God's character.

5:49 Right? It provides a safe place. Right? Where where a husband and a wife can experience God's love through their spouse. Where children can experience God's love through their parents and learn how to love other people.

6:51 Fathers, don't provoke your children lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eye service, as men pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men. Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.

7:23 The Lord will bless the reading of his word again this morning. Let's just ask for his help. Our father, again, thanks for this weekend. Thanks for bringing us all here. We thank you for your precious word.

7:37 And certainly, as the rain came down this morning, we were reminded of your word. That just as the rain falls from the earth and it does not return to you until it has accomplished all that it's set forth for it to do, we are grateful this morning that you've promised that your word will not return to you void. And so we hold to that promise this morning as we open up Your Word and look into it. And we ask You to bless our time together in Jesus' name. Amen.

8:07 When it comes to, relationships, right, every one of us is in a family. Every one of us. You could be a child here, right, as part of the family. You could be a cousin or an aunt or an uncle, as I've already mentioned, or whether it's a spouse or a parent. Right?

8:26 In fact, I would even bring it down even more general is that all of us here this morning came from some sort of home, right? Right? Whether it's an apartment, a house, whatever it is. But each one of us came from somewhere that we would call home. And so I'd like to, if we can this morning, I want to look at the significance of that.

9:07 I think everybody here would know what it looks like, right? If I asked you to describe the White House, you can, you know, you saw White House Down or you saw, you know, whatever the movies, right? And you can say, yeah, know what the White House maybe some of you have even been to the White House. Okay? Or even like if I were to ask you, like, where is the courthouse?

9:27 That one maybe not so much, but for the most part, we we kind of know what that is, especially if some of you have been called to jury duty or something like that. You have to report to, like, a local courthouse, things like that. Certainly when we come to the schoolhouse, right, I know we don't call it a schoolhouse anymore. Right? But everybody knows where your local schools are.

9:49 Right? Some of you have even attended some of those schools. Right? If we think about the Lord's house, Right? This would be an example here of the Lord's House.

9:58 Right? We know where it is. We know what it looks like. But if I were to ask you right now if you guys know what my house looks like, how many of you would say other than Ray? Yeah.

10:07 Hey. You don't know what my house looks like. Some of you don't even know where my house is. Okay. Although some of you may have heard, I I do live in Brantford, Connecticut.

10:16 And the reason I bring this up about the position of your house is this. I hope I can make this clear. Is that your house and my house, right, is at the bottom of the list in terms of visibility. What I mean by that is for most of the world, nobody knows what your house looks like. Most of world doesn't even know where your house is.

10:37 Right? It's it's low. And in contrast to the ones that we just talked about. Like the White House, everybody knows where that is. Everybody knows what it looks like.

10:49 And so I'd like to say that our house, right, where you come from, right, is also at the bottom of the list, I feel, in regards to immediate impact. Immediate impact. What I mean by that is this, is that your house, right, may be at the bottom of the list in terms of visibility, but your house, I want to bring up hopefully this morning, is at the top of the list in terms of vitality. Yeah. Your house might be at the bottom of list in terms of immediate impact, but I want to encourage you this morning to know this.

11:28 Your house is at the top of the list in regards to ultimate influence. And here's how I'll prove it to you. The White House, the schoolhouse, the courthouse, the Lord's house. Guess where they get their people from? Your house.

11:43 That's right. They get them from your house. You see, your house is at the top of the list when it comes to ultimate influence. Society and all other houses get their people from your house. Your house.

12:07 And so I don't apologize this morning that today we're going to look at two two parts as you see here that we're going to look at your house, your home, your family. Because I really believe, I'm passionate about this, is that a crack in the home or a crack in the family is a crater in our culture. Guys, that's what we're... It's breaking down today is the family, the home. Parents wanting the church to bring their kids up, wanting the school to bring their kids up, not give...

12:43 Doing the responsibility that God gave them. Spouses not loving each other, submitting to one another. And we see a breakdown today in the Christian home when our home should be, as I said, at the top in regarding vitality and ultimate influence. And so in regards to these houses, right, I would describe it this way. If you were to describe the White House, I would say the White House is the headquarters of political administration.

13:16 The courthouse, right, is the headquarters of justice administration. The schoolhouse, the headquarters of intellectual contemplation. The Lord's house should be the headquarters of gospel declaration. But get this now, your house is the headquarters of gospel application. Guys, everything you're learning on Sundays here this weekend, right, it has to apply in your home.

13:47 You've got to take it back home with you. That's where the gospel's lived out, in your home, everyday life. Gospel application. So that's the position of your house. I hope that makes sense.

14:00 Right? It may be low in terms of visibility, but please know that your house, your home is at the top when it comes to vitality. And we're going to talk about the relationships in that house, in that home. Doesn't matter today if you're married or not. Doesn't matter if you have children or not.

14:17 Right? Every one of you can actually apply these things to where you live. So the second thing I want to point out is this, not just the position of your house, but notice here the portrait of your house. This letter that was read, everyone is in the picture. Everyone.

14:54 The kids, the moms, the dads, the grandmas, grandpas, your bond servants, masters. Everyone's there listening to this letter that was read to them, that was written by Paul. And so regarding the portrait of your house, right, everyone is in the picture intentionally. Intentionally. All members are pointed out beyond their general connection to the congregation.

15:22 I want to make sure I understand that. No one is independent in the picture. They're all there intentionally. I think that's a good reminder for us is that all members of the home bear the responsibility or bear the load of modeling the gospel. Everyone.

15:43 Even your six year old, all the way to the 90 year old. Everyone. But everyone is there, not just intentionally, but everyone is there intimately. Notice this. Everyone has a role that involves another member of the family.

16:00 Did you notice that? Every single one. They don't ever mention just one person in the home without mentioning someone else connected with them. You see, all members have to touch each other as they reach for Christ. Every member.

16:20 And lastly, everyone is in the picture, not intentionally and not just intimately, but everyone is in the picture unconditionally. All members of the home are called to action by the objective authority of God's word. Everyone. And this action, I want to make sure we understand this too, this call to action is not contingent on the other member's performance. Man, we see that a lot today.

16:51 Well, I'm not going to submit to my husband. He doesn't love me. Well, doesn't say that. My wife doesn't submit to me, so I'm not going to love her. No, no, no.

17:02 So your responsibility, right, and your relationship in the home, right, is not contingent on the other people's performance. Because we just learned last night, right, that we all fail. And so we see the position of your house may be low in terms of visibility, but it is at the top of the list in terms of vitality. We see the portrait of your house, right, that everyone is in the picture, right, intentionally, intimately, and unconditionally. But then lastly, I want to look at the power of your house.

17:39 Right? I think this is so important. Right? I believe that the unsaved, right, they see these things working in your home, and they say, oh, look at that. Where have I seen that before?

17:56 Oh yeah, doesn't the Bible talk about that? It's almost like deja vu, right? That the unsaved see your relationships working in your home. And they say, Oh, look at that. It works.

18:13 Look at that. But unfortunately, the unsaved a lot of times see the relationships in our home and say, I don't want that. If that's what the church is, I don't want that. But that's the power of your home. That's the power of your house.

18:27 Right? The the... I'll share a quick story. It's amazing to me is that a colleague that I used to work with, her and I were the same grade level partners. We invited her over to the house with her boyfriend for dinner one night.

18:41 They came over for dinner. They sat down. We had a lovely meal. And the next day at school she said, John, I've got to tell you something. She's like, my boyfriend and I, before we even got in the car, we both looked at each other and we said, what was that?

19:00 And I'm thinking, oh, boy. Like, we did give thanks for the food. I did do a little devotion after dinner. So, you know, she goes, Your children, she said, were polite. I said, Yeah?

19:17 She goes, They actually had a conversation with us. I said, Yeah? She goes, No, no. She goes, John, they actually, like, made eye contact when we were talking with them. I said, Yeah?

19:29 She goes, John, I saw your kids clear our plates without you asking them to. I said, Okay. She said, John, we've never seen anything like that before. I said, Okay. I'd like to tell you that just some months later, on the phone, I was able to lead that lady to the Lord.

19:54 And part of the reason was she said, John, me and my boyfriend, she said, we want that. See, that's the power of your house. The world see it and they say, hey, listen. I want that. I want that.

20:09 Right? A wife's submission, right, amid other options. Right? That's important to God. Right?

20:18 Even Jesus himself said, he says, when you lift up the son of man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing of myself. But as my father taught me, I speak these things. The Lord Jesus was submissive completely. The husband's love amid other strengths. I teach in a community where the dads, they feel like as long as they work and provide for their family, there's nothing else they need to do.

20:58 That's the mentality of a lot of dads, a lot of husbands. Right? But no, we're called to love our wives, our children. Right? Amid our other strengths.

21:10 There's dads, men, who are really good at fixing cars, dads who are really good at working and providing for their family, crummy at loving their family. And yet here, God doesn't ask you to do anything but love your wife. A children's obedience that the Bible says is better than sacrifice. It says, For as one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one man's obedience many will be made righteous. Do you think obedience is important to God?

21:48 Man, what a great way to teach your children that. Disobedience is what brought sin and death into this world. Right? And it was through obedience that life now has been brought. Or a father's development rather than discouragement.

22:11 New fathers, it says, Do not provoke your children to wrath in Ephesians, but to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Hey, listen, even Christ, even Christ himself was born into the context of a family. You realize that? God in the flesh submitted himself to an earthly mom and an earthly dad. To model for us, right, what it means to honor parents, to benefit from their loving direction.

22:44 It was within the nurturing care of his earthly family that the Bible says, he grew in wisdom, in stature, and in favor with god and with men. Our wives, our children, they need to know that god has a special purpose for placing them within a family. Have you ever thought of that? That God puts you in the family that you're in. God has a purpose for that.

23:17 And I know for some of you that's hard because you know what? Maybe your family wasn't that good of an experience, but God even had a purpose in that. That maybe you didn't have a dad. Maybe you had an abusive relationship. Whatever it may be that God actually can still use you.

23:41 That God has you in that family for a purpose. And so that maybe you now can can comfort and help other people who are in those situations. You see, Christ is the hope of the home. Man is the head of the home. Woman is the heart of the home.

24:03 Children are the heritage of the home. I believe love is the happiness of the home. I think church is the health of the home. And don't forget this, heaven is the home of the home. You make sure you remind yourselves often and your children often that this is not our home.

24:30 Hold loosely to those things which aren't eternal. Our home is heaven. And so when it comes to this, the power of your home, right, Exodus 20 verse 12 says, honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God has given you. Many of you heard that. That's the only commandment with a promise attached to it.

24:57 The one that reels with relationships in the home. Deuteronomy six, six and seven, these commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down, when you get up. But I read that.

25:21 I mean, again, if you're a parent, right, the only way that you can talk about these things with your children when you're sitting at home, when you're walking along the road, when you lie down, when you get up, it just must mean that they're with their kids. Right? You can't do that if the kids aren't with you. And so I'm sure you've heard this before, but you know how kids spell love. Right?

25:43 T I m e. That's how they spell love. Studies show that a characteristic of strong families is that they spend time together. And listen, this is important too. Right?

26:13 Okay? Is that, yes, hopefully some of these practical things for those of you who are not married yet, for those who one day, God willing, you have a family, maybe you can apply some of these things. Maybe there are some of you who are right now in that season where you've got children, things like that. But like I said, right, your home is powerful to the unsaved. I don't care if you're single here.

26:33 I don't care if you're divorced. I don't care if you're a single parent. Whoever you might be here today, I think that you can apply these things to your home, right, and have an impact on the world in which you live in. And one of these is this. Right?

26:51 Rules minus relationship equals rebellion. That applies to everything, Whether it's with your children, whether it's in your assembly, rules without relationship equals rebellion. In our house, one of the things that we've tried to do is we have family nights. Once a week, we have a family night. In fact, I came and take credit for it.

27:18 My dad, when I became an elder, my father said, hey listen, son, take one night and make that a family night. I said, dad, I spend time with my family. He goes, listen, son, Take one night, and I'm so thankful that he made me do that. In our house, it's Monday nights. Monday nights, there's nothing that can get in the way of Monday nights.

27:37 Monday night is family night. K? And so for the longest time, we would sit around the table after dinner on Monday night and I'd say, okay, it's family night. What should we do? And I'd get eight different ideas.

27:50 And it turned into like we were arguing with each other rather than actually having a nice family night. I said, okay, well we gotta fix this. And so what we've done now is, all the kids get to write down two ideas, even moms and dads too. We write down two ideas. One idea can cost money.

28:05 The other idea can't cost any money. Alright? And we put them into our family night jar. And on Sunday nights, we pull from the jar and whatever it is, that's what we do on Monday night. K?

28:18 And what we're doing is we're building our relationships. Right? Spending time with each other. So examples are, we like to go on hikes. That's one that doesn't cost any money.

28:27 Right? Go somewhere, hike. My favorite is, my kids don't usually pick this one, but mom and I would pick this one is we actually write encouraging notes to people from our assembly. And so everybody sits around the table, we all write encouraging notes to someone and we mail them to those people. The kids, what they like is what we call Chinese movie night.

28:47 That's, we order Chinese food and we watch a movie. Okay? That one costs money. Alright? Okay?

28:54 But right, you can come up with all kinds of ideas. Just be careful. I will tell you that my son Elijah, his idea was buy gas station food and stay up all night. So everybody got $5. We went to the gas station.

29:11 Mommy was not happy. Ate a lot of junk food that night. And we did not stay up all night, but we stayed up pretty late. Stayed up pretty late. Okay?

29:20 But the point of that, right, is, and I'm glad that my dad made us do this, is that, you know what? The busyness of life. You guys all know what it's like, whether it's sports, whether it's, you know, extracurricular activities, whether it's church life. All these different things, right? And all sudden you find yourself like, wow, I haven't been spending time with my family.

29:38 Just a simple one night a week family night. And for those of you that are married, I would encourage you that one night a week should be date night. I'm fortunate that when we were first married, we didn't have this privilege, but now we're at a point where we can usually go out on a date every week. And I usually try to take my wife away once a year. Okay?

29:58 That doesn't have to be a big deal either. Sometimes we get an Airbnb for a night or something like that or something that goes stay in a lake somewhere. I don't know. But I would encourage you to do that, to build that relationship. But speaking of dates, right, is that I think that's so important.

30:14 Just having that one on one time with someone in your family, whether it's your spouse, whether it's your children. I still remember with my dad, I thought it was the greatest thing to take a ride with him to the dump. I don't know why, but I remember those trips. And I cherish them. Hey, and so, of course, I've kept that tradition going and, you know, the girls, they can't wait to go to the dump with daddy.

30:37 I don't know what that is about going to the dump. But dump runs are a big thing. Right? For us, our family, we love to go fishing. Hey.

30:45 And so I love being able to take my daughters, my sons, and just go out and sit in a boat or sit by the shore and go fishing. But you guys, whatever it is that you like to do, right, take your kids out, take your spouse out, and just go spend some time together. Another thing is that when it comes to like these relationships, I've learned is, again, especially with children because that's kind of the season I'm in right now is, right, let them help you with things. Again, this is, maybe I'm speaking more to the dads here. Don't know what it is, but something about us dads, we like to do things ourselves.

31:18 Right? Nobody else, and again, could be speaking to myself, nobody else can do it quite like we can. Alright? And so, yeah, my children, I like to make the pancakes, the waffles. I'm the breakfast guy.

31:29 And they're always like, hey, daddy, can I flip the pancake? And I'm like, no, you can't flip the pancake. Because you know what will happen. They'll go to flip it. It'll, it'll miss the griddle.

31:38 It'll, it'll be all over here. And I've learned that, you know what? I gotta let them flip the pancake. K? Even if I lose a pancake in the process, right, to them that's important.

31:47 They're helping daddy. Someone told me once that they let their kids help them paint the walls. I'm like, woah, woah, I'm not, I don't know if we're there yet. Okay? But yeah, just, it's really funny is that the big thing now is, also I do all the grilling in the house.

32:03 Right? And I don't know what it is, but the girl's like, Daddy, Daddy, please let us light the grill. So I have to let them light the grill. They love turning on the burner, push the button, the flame comes on, and hey, that's all they want is just to light the grill. But I think this is a big one too when it comes to your home.

32:20 Again, it could apply whether you have children or not. Wherever that you live in your home with there is, you've got to have time to sit around the dinner table. Okay? We're losing that today. It seems like a little, tiny little thing, but I cannot tell you how many families say, oh yeah, we never sit down and eat anymore.

32:38 It's, know, we grab this, grab that. We're eating out the door, going in the car. Right? We need to sit down at the table. And again, I know a family who, he worked second shift.

32:47 Right? So they would sit around the breakfast table. Right? But there has to be one time during the day where you sit around the table. And this is important.

32:56 Dads, moms, whoever it is that you talk to each other and talk about your day. Hey, now there are lots of things that we talk about at our dinner table. One of the things that I like to do, and you don't have to do this, usually when we're done eating, I like to do some kind of devotion. Right? There's all kinds of devotions you can purchase and buy, whether they're kid friendly or just for older kids or things like that.

33:18 Right? But one of the things that I love too is, and again, I stole this from someone else, is I usually try to ask my kids, my wife, hey, where did you see the gospel model today? And listen, it's hard at first. Right? But I think we have to train our family to be gospel literate.

33:36 Right? For a while, you hear the gospel all the time, but then it's hard for them to kind of articulate it and talk about it. Right? It could be as simple as, hey, you know, we watched a movie. Right?

33:47 Did you guys see the gospel parallels in there? Right? My favorite one is the Marvel movies, right? My kids are all into the Marvel movies. Isn't it interesting that there's always some person behind the scenes who's messing everything up?

34:01 You know? That sounds like someone we know, doesn't it, in the Bible? Right? The enemy? Right?

34:07 And there's always, right? You notice that there's a hero. Right? Someone who saves the day. Well, we know who that is too, don't we?

34:16 Right? But having them just have conversations. Right? Maybe there's something that happened at the store that day, you know, where someone didn't have enough money at the register and they saw someone else pay for them. Or things like that.

34:31 But get them to start talking about the things that we see in society that, hey, listen, there's no mistake that it reminds us of the gospel. It's everywhere, isn't it? And we got to give our kids the look for that and our families, whoever it is. We got to be looking at the gospel that we see every day. But have that time around the table.

34:52 I think hospitality is big too. Really grateful for the Hiltons. When Ray said, hey listen, you're staying with the Hiltons, thought maybe that was a joke that I was actually at the hotel this weekend. But it's far better than any Hilton I've ever been to. K?

35:09 But I love their hospitality. K? But listen, I grew up in a home where my parents were hospitable. And my brother and I, we were blessed by that. We had so many missionaries that stayed in our homes.

35:23 Full time, you know, workers and and itinerant preachers and and just different people that came through our house all the time, that actually encouraged us in our faith. And so again, no matter who you are here today, whether you have a family or not, you can have people in your home. Right? I would encourage you to do so. The Bible says that in doing so, sometimes you can even entertain angels.

35:49 Hospitality comes with wonderful surprises. And listen, it's a challenge. Right? Might have to pick up the place a little bit. Right?

35:58 Might have to make something. You don't actually don't have to do any of those things. You can order food and not clean up the place. Okay? But there's something about being hospitable.

36:08 Right? And I would encourage you, if you've never done so, is I would invite the world into your home. Invite that coworker, right, who you've shared the gospel with or invite your neighbor over. Right? Let them see what a Christian home is like.

36:30 I think another thing that's important to me is to have a family altar. What I mean by that is a place where you guys come together and you pray together and you sing together. I think that's extremely important. And again, anyone can do that. Right?

36:47 We like to do it at night before the kids go to bed. We love to sit in the living room, and we just sing praises together. And then everyone takes a turn praying before we go to bed. Again, was modeled for me in my home. I still remember at nights it would be my brother and I, my mom and my dad.

37:03 And my dad worked at an electric boat in Groton, submarine capital of the world. And there were actually more than one time where we'd be sitting in the living room. My brother would pray first. Then I would pray. My mom would pray.

37:15 And it would be dad's turn, and we'd be waiting. Dad had fallen asleep. Amazing. At the time, we used to make fun of him for that. But now in hindsight, I'm like, wow, he was so tired that he would fall asleep in our living room while we were praying.

37:31 But he still made that a priority, right, that we would pray together as a family. And so, again, practical ways that you can do that in your own home. I don't know if you guys get Christmas cards. Right? At Christmas time, people send you the pictures of their family or their kids or things like that.

37:50 We get those and usually we put them up, you know, around the door frames or on the fridge or whatever during the Christmas season. And my wife came up with an idea, I don't know, a couple years ago, what's cool is she takes those years' Christmas photos, punches a hole in them, puts a little binder on them, they become our prayer cards. And so my kids every morning, when they have family devotions in the morning with mom, they take one family and they pray for that family. Next day, just flip the card, there's another family to pray for. Right?

38:15 Modeling for your kids how important prayer is. Right? We need to be living and breathing in the atmosphere of prayer. I think serving. Right?

38:28 Serving is, I think, is so important. Right? You and your family, whatever it might be. For me, like I said, family was always something I was passionate about. And so I don't know, for like the last twenty or twenty five years, in June, I do a father daughter camping trip.

38:48 Where dads and daughters, we go pitch a tent and camp and go fishing and things like that. And then in the fall, dads and their sons, we go camping. But it's a ministry now where my kids can help me out with it, which is great. You know? It began with me taking little ones with me, and now they're old enough where they can help.

39:07 So in serving, right? And I've been so encouraged with some of the young people and all that they're doing this weekend. You guys are doing a great job. Okay? I would encourage you to continue to let young people, let people help serve.

39:20 Right? Serve together as a family. Like I said, we love doing camp ministry. If you've never been part of camp ministry, would encourage you to do so. Yep.

39:28 For some of you, you might have to take a week off in the summer. Again, it's amazing. My dad worked at Electric Boat. He had two weeks off a year. That was it.

39:37 And he would take those two weeks and go counsel that boys camp at Berea. And I'm thinking back to that now. I'm a teacher. Have the summers off. So it's a little different.

39:46 I'm like, I can't believe you would take your two weeks vacation and go counsel. I just can't believe that. That was his only two weeks of vacation and he would go serve at camp. But yeah, so I think serving at camps and various things is certainly great if you can be part of Vacation Bible School or things like that. Another thing I would just encourage you to, and I know I'm almost out of time here, but I think rites of passage are important.

40:16 What I mean by that is this. Is there any chance you get so the only example I can think of is what we've done is so when our girls were younger, they all wanted earrings. And again, I know we may have different opinions on earrings and things like that. But, for us, we said, Okay, listen. You cannot have earrings until you're 10 years old.

40:38 10 was the year that you got earrings. But what we tried to do was, we tried to make it so that, hey, listen, in order for you to get earrings, not only did you have to be 10 years old, but they had to show us through various things, right, that beauty is not outward, but it's inward. Right? Like I wanted my girls to understand, Hey, listen, you can wear earrings. That's great.

41:01 Right? I think there's something to say with femininity. I think that's important. Right? But I want you to understand that earrings don't make you beautiful.

41:09 Right? A friend told us once, which I thought was a pretty cool practical way of doing this is, you know, those of you who have daughters, right? Or even your wives sometimes might do this, right? They say, hey, how do I look? Right?

41:20 They put on a dress and they say, how do you look? And it's okay if you've actually said, hey, you look, you know, beautiful or pretty. But this person encouraged me one time, thought it great, is instead of saying, hey, you look beautiful, you look pretty, they say, you know what, that looks really fancy. Because what she wanted her daughters to know was, hey, that doesn't make you look beautiful. Right?

41:40 You're already beautiful. Okay? A dress doesn't make you beautiful. Yeah, it makes you look fancy maybe. And it could be just semantics.

41:47 Right? But it's things like that all the time that I think are important. And again, it goes back to the power of your home is like we want the world, when they see us, to say, Okay, you know what? These guys are different. Right?

41:59 We don't think. We don't act like the world. We don't talk like the world. Or at least we shouldn't. Right?

42:06 We've been set apart. We're supposed to be different. And so those rites of passage are are important. My brother and I, we did this and then we've applied it to our family as well is when our children became teenagers, they'd have to do a teen challenge. And so what that means is that up to a year before, sometimes a few months before, before they turned 13, we had a list of things that they had to accomplish in order for them to be recognized as a teenager.

42:32 So like they had to read several biographies of missionaries. They had to memorize an entire chapter of the Bible. They had to do a service project for someone. Just different things like this that we wanted them to do. And then we kind of make it a big deal.

42:49 If they got all those things done, we give them a little certificate that says, Hey, I hereby acknowledge you as a teenager. You know? But the thing is, the reason we're doing that, right, is we want our kids to understand that everything is spiritual. Everything. Right?

43:25 We both had 600 square feet. And as you can see, we're running out of room. And so we made the decision to sell. And when we sold the house, the house that we were going to buy fell through. And so if anybody's ever gone through this, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

43:41 We had to live with my parents. I think we had five kids at the time. We had five kids at the time living with my parents in the summer for a few months. Man, you talk about trials. So no.

43:54 But by God's grace, had found a house by that September. I think by that September... In fact, it's the house we're in today. And I still remember just that whole journey of, you know, if anybody's ever tried to sell your house, buy a house, it's a chore. Right?

44:11 But I still remember that. I read that portion in Joshua, when the Israelites and Joshua had said, Listen, you know, choose you this day whom you're going to serve. And I don't know if you guys are familiar with this, but he actually took a big white rock and he put it under an oak tree. And it was a memorial. And so what I did at my house is there was actually an oak tree in our backyard.

44:29 I painted a big white rock and I put that reference on there. And I put it under the tree. And I brought my family, my in laws, my wife, and I said, hey, listen. Cause one thing that's interesting is Joshua said, hey, listen. Look, the Lord took us from there and brought us here.

44:44 And I just said, okay, look at it. All that we've been going through in the last year, two years with this whole house thing, right? Here's where God brought us. Right? And now, just like what Joshua said is, Hey, listen.

44:55 We want to use this house now to serve the Lord. Right? And I asked everybody, my kids, my in laws, Hey, choose you this day who you're going to serve. Right? As for me, we're going to serve the Lord.

45:10 Right? And we're going to use this house to glorify Him. And so I'd encourage you, in those relationships in your home, right, that should be the mentality. Right? The mentality.

45:20 Now, what we're going to try to do is, so like I said, I would look at this moment. This is almost kind of like a positive thing. Hopefully give us some practical things that you can do in your home. But don't... I want us to make sure we understand that the position of your house, right, it is at the top of the list in terms of ultimate influence.

45:38 Right? All the other houses get their people from your house. Right? But secondly, I want you to realize, right, that the portrait of your house. Right?

45:49 Everyone's in the picture. Right? Not just intentionally and intimately, but unconditionally. And then lastly, want you to consider the power of your house. Right?

46:01 The unsaved see your house. They see it and they say, hey, listen, where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, isn't that in the Bible? At least that's what they should say. Right?

46:11 Or if they don't know what the Bible says, say, listen, why do you guys do that? Why is your house different? And so we kind of talked about this more. In the next session, after a little break here, we're going to kind of look at the same idea here, but we're going look at it in a negative light. From a family here in the Bible that's not a very good example of how relationships should be in the home.

46:34 But let's just close in prayer and then we'll take our break. Our Father in Heaven, thank you again for this topic of family. We certainly see just a glimpse as to who you are, God, in your design and purpose of family. I really believe that there's nothing else that just speaks to who you are more, or provides a glimpse, I should say, of who you are than that of the family. And so, Lord, we again just thank you for how you put each and every one of us in a family.

47:16 And there's a purpose for that. And I hope if nothing else that you would encourage people today that there's a reason why you have them in the family that you have them in, in the home that you have them in. And so Lord God, again, we just pray that we would use the relationships in our home to again, to be a testimony to the world around us. And we pray this in Jesus' name, amen.