Conflict Resolution Pt 2 — Colossians 3

0:00 Okay, yeah. So we're going to have a little bit of a testimony as well today. So thanks for pointing that out Jeremy. But I do have an announcement and we failed to announce this. So January tenth through twelfth there's a college and career retreat at Camp Leilae.

0:22 So if you're over the age of 18 you're invited to attend and rumor has it that the majority of the Team two staff is going to be there preparing meals and cleaning toilets. So you know if you want to see the Teen-two staff in action join us. Okay so I asked last week if somebody has a testimony regarding conflict and they feel moved to give it to the body that they should contact me. And so Bob Buttress reached out to me directly after the message on last Sunday and said that he would like to give a little bit of a testimony regarding that. Remember I've said this the last couple of times that I spoke and anybody that has an intimate relationship with me, I say this all the time.

1:11 It's T plus T=T. Right? You have testing plus trust equals testimony. And that testimony is a great way to glorify God. It's a great way to bring unity to the body, and it's also an awesome way to...

1:30 It's it's also an awesome way to show you how gracious and great our God is, and we can give him praise and glory for that. So Bob, the time that you need, bro. Thank you so much, Bob. That's loud. Now I kind of wish I would have saved that to the end.

1:57 Just a wonderful testimony. So just a couple of things. So we're gonna go back to the message right? So we're talking about conflict resolution. And we had the story of Joseph last week.

2:23 Something that was brought to my attention this week was the word when the brothers sent Joseph a note or a letter or a messenger, whatever it was, and said, hey dad told you that you need to forgive us. Right, so we're talking the fiftieth chapter of Genesis. It's the first time that that word was used in the Bible. First time. Fiftieth chapter of Genesis.

2:49 So I thought that was kind of unique and interesting. And remember, if we remember back, here's Joseph who went... Who knows how many years at having a heart toward his brothers that was symbolized when he said this, what what you meant for evil, God meant for good. And he believed that truly in his heart, and that's what that's what his mindset was. That was his focus.

3:27 It wasn't against his brothers who sold him into slavery. And the brothers, on the other hand, dealt with that for who knows how many years. Right? Somebody told me seventy. I don't know how many it was, but it was a long time that the brothers dealt with that before they went and bowed before Joseph.

3:51 In my opinion, for forgiveness. That's my opinion. It doesn't say it there. I'm not so sure that I believe that their father actually told them to send them a letter or a note to ask for forgiveness, but I believe them humbling themselves before their brother and buying before him was an act of asking for forgiveness. Now bringing us to where we are today, right, gave you a list of homework things to do.

4:17 Hopefully you read them all. I did, and that's good because if the guy that's preaching isn't going to read what he tells everybody else to preach, that's probably a bad thing. And what I asked you to read, we're going start with Colossians, the verses from Colossians. But here's the reason why we're going to deal with those verses from Colossians. Because over the last fifteen days, I had several brothers.

4:46 Alright. One of them was brother Denzel. One of them was brother Bob Buttress. One of them was was Andy Hilton. And there were others that mentioned to me as I'm preparing, and they said they they they said words similar to this.

5:31 So it's so important that we need to be living in the spirit. So let's go to Colossians chapter three verse 12 through 17. I'm going to be reading from the New American Standard which is different than what I normally read from because there's a specific word that is used in the New American Standard that we can translate out but I I I want to make sure that this word is heard. So, I'm going start at verse 12. So, as those who have been chosen of god, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion.

6:13 Kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other. Whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you with all wisdom, teaching, and admonishing.

6:57 I'm sorry, with all wisdom, teaching, and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. Singing with thankful hearts, thankfulness in your hearts to god. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the lord Jesus. Giving thanks through him to god the father. I'm going to take a brief time here and go to the Lord in prayer.

7:26 Conflict is real. Conflict causes pain. Conflict causes disruption. Conflict causes sorrow. Conflict causes us to step back and wonder how did that happen.

7:48 But the perfect peace that passes all understanding is the Lord Jesus Christ. And through that, and through Him, we can we can find a way to get through conflict. So let's let's pray. Lord Lord, we we we come before you, Lord. And in this body here, there's there's conflict on many many levels.

8:12 Lord, we pray specifically for each individual that is going through a time of conflict that certainly none of us would like to go through. Lord, we know that as individuals we're not perfect. We know that as individuals we're going to experience conflict. We do understand that it is through Christ, it is through God the father, is through the Holy Spirit that we can survive these times of conflict and thrive in these times of conflict. So, lord, I ask your blessing on the individuals here today and the conflict that you're going through, Lord, that you will show them your peace and your grace.

9:04 And you'll help us to understand that this can also, can too, be overcome through Christ, through the Holy Spirit, through God the Father. So we ask your blessing on us, Lord. We come before you as humble servants. We come before you, Lord, not understanding. We come before you in pain.

9:28 We come before you in sorrow. We come to you broken. That's the only way, Lord, that you can work through us. So we just pray that you you do work through us, Lord. We look to we look to the Lord's coming.

10:00 Is in verse 12. So so being tongue tied here. So as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion. Put on a heart of compassion. And then later we see, let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.

10:19 Two different words. Those are two different words for heart. The first one, I'm gonna do my best best Greek impersonation that I can. I'm sure I'm gonna blow this. But this word heart in Greek is splachan.

10:40 Splachan. Right? Something like that. The other word for heart is cardia. It's an easy one.

10:50 Cardia. From cardia comes cardio, cardiology. Right? It's that heart. So it's that heart that pumps.

10:57 Right? So what is this other heart? What is this other heart that we're supposed to put on the heart of... So it was interesting last night at the Morris House, Andy brought a verse to our attention and that was Psalm 8six 11. Right?

11:16 So Andy and I go go back and forth quite a bit on this this whole thought process, between heart, mind, soul, every... Everything like that. So, when he brought that verse up, let's go to Psalm 8six 11. I know I didn't have this listed to you as your homework, but I do wanted to bring this to your attention. Psalm 8six in verse 11, it says, Teach me your way, oh lord.

11:50 I will walk in your truth. Unite my heart to fear your name. Unite my heart. So this is obviously not a Greek word. It's not an English word, but it is a Hebrew word.

12:05 And this Hebrew word almost sounds French. The word is, lefav. Lefav. Okay? Lefav and splakhan basically are the same the same thought here, the same word.

12:22 And what the the definition of levav in in in the Hebrew is this. And this is the best way that I can talk about this, and I've got an illustration that you've heard before. It's the inner part, the midst, the heart, the soul or heart, mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory, inclination, resolution, determination of the will, conscious. These are the words that the dictionary uses to explain this word for heart. So basically what it comes down to is, the word that I use is mindset.

13:08 Right? And I've said this before, we'll call this the well. This is the inner part of man. This is our spirit. This is where we live.

13:15 This is where our outcomes occur from a reaction. Something happens exterior based on what's inside of us, that's how we're going to respond. So if inside of me I've got anger, I've got hurt, I've got distress, if somebody's going to come to me as an event and it's going to cause me to go into my well, go into my lavab, what's going to come out of it is anger. It's going to be anger. It's going to be mistrust.

13:50 It's to be that reaction. I say again, for those that know me intimately, what's in the well comes up in the bucket. So what we have right here, our soul, our inner being, that area that is our mindset, what our mind is set on, when an exterior event happens, the response that I'm going to come out with is based on what's in here. So if I've got somebody that comes up to me and says you know that chicken soup needs a little bit more cream, I respond in whatever way based on what's in here. Right?

14:25 If I've got anger, if I've got distress, I'm not going to be responding in a positive way. And those that you know me have seen that in my past. You've seen it. You've seen the angry Bob. You've seen the reaction that occurs when the hose isn't put away properly.

14:40 Right Linda? You've seen that. Okay? Right. It's true.

14:47 It's what's in here. It's what's in here. And it's living in the Spirit. It's living in the spirit and we can only live in the spirit by faith through the power of the holy spirit and what it what it tells us is that first of all, we have to have compassion, right? So, go back to the verse.

15:30 I don't like using the word weep. It's not manly. Even though Andy Hilton uses it all the time. Okay Andy, you get that? And this is what it was.

15:42 So Nancy and I were doing a wedding, catering a wedding. And historically we do a great job of making sure that we have the proper amounts. In this particular wedding, we did not, we felt we did, but as a result of who took the pasta, there should be a song about that, who took the pasta, right? As a result of somebody or some people taking too much pasta, we ran out of pasta. Angry Bob would have been upset at Nancy because she's in charge of making sure that we have the right amount of pasta.

16:25 Whether that's true or not, that's an excuse. But Nancy was hurt. She was visibly hurt. And for the first time in my life, I think, I felt compassion for my wife. I felt so bad for her.

16:45 Right? I wanted to go out and fight the person that took too much pasta. That's another story. But compassion unlocks mercy. No doubt that Christ is our best example of compassion.

17:03 Kindness. The next word is kindness. Kindness is moral goodness or integrity. Remember, these are items. These are virtues that we need to hide in our soul, in our inner being.

17:18 Kindness is moral goodness, integrity. Moral goodness. When I think of this, I think of that verse. It's in Matthew, whatsoever you do, to the least of these you have done unto me. How do we respond to the least?

17:43 How we respond to the least is an indication of our character. How we respond to the least is that ability to have kindness. And it shows integrity. It shows integrity. You know, it's easy to get along well with Mark Sunday.

18:04 It's easy. Cool kid, great hair. But what about somebody that you're not attracted to? Somebody that might have some social issues? Somebody that might have some physical issues?

18:22 How do you respond to them? I'll tell you what. If somebody sees you respond to the Mark Sundays of the world in a way that is different than you respond to the others, you've lost your testimony. You've lost your testimony. No integrity.

18:47 The next one is humility. Humility. This one, it was like a 2x4 smacking me in the head. Thanks, Homi. It gives me the courage and strength to go on.

19:09 I've got so many thoughts popping up in my mind, I'm gonna keep them to myself. They all point the finger at me though by the way. Humility. Listen to this definition. The deep sense of one's own moral littleness.

19:28 The deep sense of one's own moral littleness. How many times do we point the finger at people because they are immoral? We do it all the time. I do it all the time. But what about my moral littleness?

19:45 A deep sense of one's own moral littleness. So in order to have humility, you've got to realize you've got to realize that I can't come over here, I can't come over here and pick out a small thorn, especially with these glasses, I need a magnifying glass, out of Mason's finger. You know why I can't pull it out? Why can't I see it? Go ahead.

20:14 The two by four that just hit me in the head is the one that's so big covering my face that I can't see anything. I'm blind. I can't see anything. That's humility. If studying this for me hasn't done anything else, at least it's made me realize that I'm done judging people.

20:41 Gentleness. And the next one is gentleness. Gentleness and meekness are pretty much the same. So power under authority. All right, meekness.

20:53 To meek a horse. Anybody familiar with that? To meek a horse. So we see a horse. We go back to two hundred, three hundred years ago, however long it was, when they used horses in a war.

21:06 How do you make sure that that horse, which is a strong powerful animal, how do you make sure that it doesn't go crazy when something is challenging it? To meek a horse, they used to light fires under horses and make them stand there to make them stay meek. Meekness isn't something that we are making ourselves lower than anybody. What it's doing is it's making sure that the power that is within us we control, and it's under control. So we want to be meek.

21:38 We want to be meek. Power under authority, strength under control. And the last one is patience of a farmer. We need to be patient. We need to be patient with one another.

22:14 We need to be unified. Right? We need to be unified with one another. There are times that I disagree with you, there are times that you disagree with me, but I love that whole thought process of being in one accord. Right?

22:27 I can disagree with you, and we can still move on together. Alright, it's not a life or death situation. It's not against the Scripture. Let's move on together. That's unity.

22:41 So we need to be unified. We're going to go now to these rules, I'll call them rules that are set up to help us work through forgiveness. Let's go to Matthew. So we've conflict. Conflict exists.

23:02 How do we forgive? First of all, this is a okay, I'll get to that in a second. Matthew five, Matthew Chapter five. Sorry. Matthew chapter five, and we're go twenty three and twenty four.

23:30 So if you are offering your gift on the altar and you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar first and go and be reconciled with your brother or sister and then come and give your offering gift. That's kind of odd, right? So I'm ready to give an offering and somebody has something against me. Alright, I don't have something against somebody else, somebody has something against me. So that means, most likely, I did something that offended somebody conflict that I need to make sure that I take care of.

24:01 And what we are told is we are told to go to that person and we are supposed to reconcile. We are supposed to reconcile. That word reconcile means to change the mind of anyone. That could be me changing my mind, that could be me changing the person's mind that I have to go to. I have to go and be reconciled.

24:20 It also has to do with repentance, and repentance is the changing of one's own mind or one's own thinking. Alright? So, that right there, right, is a salvation message. So, I have to go and be reconciled with Christ. I have to ask for forgiveness from God.

24:49 If I don't ask for forgiveness, there can be no reconciliation. There can be no relationship. So we need to understand that if we have an issue, we have a conflict, we need to look for forgiveness. If I caused it, I need to go and I need to figure out a way to seek forgiveness and to get forgiveness. If I sweep it under the rug, am I am I truly doing what is...

25:16 What we're supposed to do scripturally? We are not saved. God so loved the world. He loved us. He gave his only son that whosoever, right, whosoever, whosoever seeks after, whosoever goes and seeks repentance, repentance and forgiveness is the one that is saved.

25:38 That is a model that is set up, that's a model that we need to, as believers, need to understand as well when we are in a period of conflict resolution. Let's jump to Matthew 18. So now we're going to Matthew eighteen fifteen. If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother.

26:20 Okay, so this is the period of time where it becomes preaching. If somebody has offended me, or I've got conflict with somebody, and the first thing that I do is I go tell somebody else, what have I done? I've totally taken this process that we're supposed to go to and I've changed it. I've blown it. I've added a layer to it that I wasn't supposed to add to it.

26:48 How many times do we, this is in defense of the elders right here, how many times do we who are offended by somebody else go to the elders and tell them that we're offended by this person? I would imagine that the elders, you need to go and talk with them first. But then what happens is, then people are mad at the elders. Right? Because we don't like to take control of our own situation.

27:14 Well, can't be my fault. If somebody offends you, go to them. It's that easy. You want to do it in meekness, you want to do it in love, but you want to go to them. The only way that you're going to solve the issue is by going to them.

27:34 If you go outside of these parameters, let's go to Romans chapter two verse one. Romans chapter two verse one. This is the verse that has hit me square in the face. So if you decide that you are above these words if you're... That you're above these words in Matthew and you're gonna take it into your own hand to resolve the conflict and you don't do it the way you're supposed to do it, listen to this.

28:06 Therefore, every one of you who judges is without excuse. For when you judge another you condemn yourself since you, the judge, do the same things. So what you've done is you've stepped outside of what's prescribed by the bible, you didn't go to the person, you went and told somebody else, you went to tell an elder, whatever you did, you are now judging and you deserve to be judged. We need to have integrity in our souls so that when somebody offends us we can go to them. And I tell you what, if they didn't offend you enough that you need to go to them, forget about it.

28:51 Don't let it consume you. How about the next one? What does the next verse say? Well, if you if you've agreed with your brother, you've won him back. Right?

29:05 That's that's... So let's not forget about that. Alright? Amen. You've won him back.

29:11 And then, if you still can't have a reconciliation, then you go and you bring one or two others. Okay. I'm going to give credit to Denzel on this one. We chatted through this one yesterday. If I can't convince, if I can't convince, who, who's hard to convince here?

29:35 If I can't convince Noah, if I can't convince Noah that somebody offended me, and give him the evidence of that, to go with me, and he says, know, Mr. Markovich, that's kind of crazy. I don't think you should be upset about that. I'm not going with you. If I can't convince him to go with me, because I'm supposed to bring one or two, Maybe it's my problem.

30:11 So if we follow these orders that are in here, It's very... We we don't we don't go off and create such a problem that it destroys the whole body of believers. Because if, first of all, if I don't have the integrity to go to that person, shut your mouth, Bob. If you go to that person and you can't reconcile and I can't convince Noah to go with me, guess what? Shut your mouth, Bob.

30:46 Move on. It's not worth it. It's not necessary. It's not needed. It isn't a conflict.

30:56 But we can only do that is if if we're living in the spirit. But if we follow these, then it's like, oh boy. Right? And now now I realize that it's not as bad as I think. So how many times do we give up after one?

31:41 Spent some time this week. I didn't get ahold of Randy Amos. I was trying to reach out to Randy to find out, are you aware, have you been part of any of these conflicts that went to the church? How do you do that? Talked with Denzel about that a little bit yesterday.

31:59 Talked with Andy Hilton a little bit about that this week. How do you do that? Exactly. It's a tough situation, and it has to go in front of the body of believers. You know what, I'm going to quit right there.

32:45 We can have integrity through a little bit of a time of prayer here. I think you all know what I'm talking about. Lord, we come before you, and we realize how small we are. And we realize the stress and the conflicts that we create in our life. And we realize the difficulty at times to get through conflict.

33:20 Lord, I pray Your blessing. I pray Your blessing, Lord. And every brother and sister here, the blessing, is to resolve the conflicts. Many of these conflicts are so big that only you can control, Lord. So we ask that the spirit moves in everybody's heart, and it stirs everybody to love, and it stirs everybody to unity, Lord.

34:01 Help us as a body to grow and overcome. It's tough to consider this a blessing, my brother and sister, whenever you are exposed to various trials. But Lord, that's what this is. And we know that testing plus trust, trust in the Savior equals testimony. So we pray for your testimony here, Lord.

34:31 I I pray in Jesus' name and invite any other brother who would like to get up and give a brief prayer to to do that as well.